Notes: Not real. Thanks to Maggie and Younger for betas.

IN HIS WISDOM

Joey had a lot of respect for the wisdom of the Elder Called Ones but he really wished they didn't insist on secrecy in the Searching. He'd love to be able to say he was doing the Bringer's work and damn it, he wanted wine, warm bodies in his bed and songs, straight up no waiting. Especially on nights like tonight when Nick was blowing on his hands and Joey was trying to bargain with the motel owner for a room that didn't face the wind. Nick sighed and hefted his backpack and they took the second cheapest room, only partly facing the wind. Small victories, it all added up.

"Praise the Bringer," Nick muttered. Nick'd had proven himself not Called only on the last test so he'd grown up with better digs. Joey had been not Called much earlier, much as he'd expected. It made them a good team, Joey thought. A balance. And in all things, balance is best, he thought.

Nick flopped down on the dull red top blanket and said, "Balance is best, I see you mouthing it. What are you thinking about?" He bounced a little on the bed. "The mattress here doesn't agree with you, man." He grinned as he said it.

"The bed is in violation. We'll report it to the Holders." Joey could see Nick was already in a better mood, so he decided to shelve his thoughts. "We should talk about tomorrow. You know, the Searching."

"Tomorrow happens. Today is our gift." Nick smirked, like he always did when he repeated Teachings. Nick reached for the remote and turned on the old and battered TV. They never did get to stay in places that matched the importance of their work.

"It's just, Nick, this one's tricky. He's a grown man, not our usual thing."

"Doesn't that make it easier? I mean, don't you think? He gets all five tests, all right in a row." Nick shrugged and flipped channels. He settled on one about improving one's house. A retired male Holder and a perky woman were showing the best way to bring balance into a couple's house. The woman had a great rack. Joey sat down next to Nick and leaned his head on Nick's shoulder.

"You're right. He just might not be ready for it."

Nick leaned back and kissed the top of Joey's head. "Whatever. I love this show."

"It's my favorite house decorating one, sure. You know, if this one's Called, we're Holders and we can get a place."

Nick smiled into Joey's hair. "But not with those fucking drapes."

*

The Seers usually saw the possible Called ones when they were very young. Searchers had come for Nick when he was only eleven. Joey had been seventeen when they found him, and that had been kind of old. He'd been laughing at most of it, unable to get what the Searchers were even doing. "They slip through," Holder Johnny had said. "Lots of possibilities out there, Joe. But I tell you, if they're still shining for the Seers at this age, odds are good."

This possibility worked at a convenience store.

Nick pulled on his knit cap and said, "At least we'll get coffee. I love the coffee at these places, man, seriously. Always super hot and it wakes you right up."

"I hear ya," Joey said.

They went in the morning to get some idea before they approached the guy. Nick got two cups of coffee and they walked around the store before going to the counter. Joey looked at the bright blue packages and listened to Nick slurping his coffee. Joey liked the blue puffballs best because you could shove them whole into your mouth and eat them all in one go. Over the faint music playing Joey could hear someone singing along. They sounded good. Joey bopped his head to the beat and grinned at Nick. Nick laughed at him.

They hadn't said the possibility would be so attractive. The guy was about Joey's age, with square glasses and trimmed hair. Possibility was totally hot, Joey thought. He put on his most charming face and said, "These two coffees and the pastries."

The nametag said "JC" so Joey assumed this was their guy, the Joshua Chasez they were Searching. "Hey, man, was that you singing?"

JC grinned. It was a really hot smile. He said, "Yeah, passes the time. Here, I got lots of time."

"Every day is a gift," Nick said, passing over the money.

"A great gift listening to you singing, a really great gift." Joey said. Nick frowned.

"Nah, man," JC said. "You want good singing? You guys should head down to the Widmark club. You been there? The vibe is unbelievable."

"We're traveling," Nick said, his voice high and tight.

Balance, Joey thought. He said, "So there's some good shows there? We're in town for a little while, be nice to get out."

"Oh, yeah. Some great groups play there and on Tuesday nights, they have amateur night. It's totally hip." JC sat back on his chair. "If you like modern music. It's not church."

Nick said, "Church is modern music, too." He smiled and said, "Have a good day."

*

They decided to go to the Widmark since it was a quick walk from their motel. On the walk over, Nick said, "We can start the tests tomorrow. Get it over with."

Joey nodded. They hadn't discussed Nick being pissy back at the shop or Joey flirting too hard. Nick got jealous, it was typical. Joey usually didn't flirt so much, though, so he decided to let it slide. It was a kind of balance. Joey said, "Which first?" One of the tests was only for persons of age, the one Nick had failed, but JC could have them all.

Nick shrugged. "Let him sing the scales. He likes to sing."

JC passed the first test without them even administering it. He was at the Widmark and he was singing on stage with another guy playing guitar. The song was about sex, but the bridge was set to the tune of the Bridge scales. The words were different - this time about sex and dancing and not the principles of calm, but JC nailed every note.

Nick grinned. "That's a good rewrite."

"I gotta say, I agree with you, man. I'm trying that one next time we're at the Holding and I get a solo." They smiled at each other.

JC saw them as he got off the stage and waved. Nick waved back and Joey stopped himself from doing the same. Instead he said, "Well, that's one test down. You wanna head back?"

Nick smiled. "We can stay. Listen to some music."

"If you insist."

They watched JC and his friend do another set. JC was lost in the music in one way, the songs coming right out of him. But he was in control the whole time, too. Joey hadn't missed when JC glared for a second or two at his friend after a guitar string broke.

And the guy was seriously hot, up on the stage, sweat in his hair, legs moving.

Joey usually found Called ones hot, as they dispensed their wisdom through a vessel people would pay attention to. Joey knew he was smirking the way Nick did when he repeated those things in his head, mostly because all of him was paying attention to JC right then.

*

JC passed the second test in the same unknowing way. Joey went back for coffee in the morning and they started talking. Joey had just gotten into the habit of offering riddles to people he talked to, not just possibilities. And the only riddles Joey remembered were the ones for the test for Called ones. JC got each one, all ten in a row, with an absent smile on his face.

With the last one done, Joey stared, his coffee raised to his lips. "Something wrong?" JC said.

"No, no. You heard those before?" Joey forced himself to sip his coffee. It was too hot.

"No, they're good ones. I like 'em. I love riddles, man. Where'd you hear those?"

Joey sputtered. "Work. I heard 'em at work. And, speaking of, I gotta go."

He told Nick about the second passed test in the hotel room. Nick rubbed his eyes and said, "Well, we should tell him. Cause if he passes the next one, you know, off to the Holding."

Even if he failed the next two. It was another wise thing, Joey usually thought, to take those who passed three tests and bring them to the Holding. They trained them up and made them Searchers and then Holders. It provided a steady stream of Holders to help bring everyone into balance. "I think, Nick, you know, he's our age. He's settled. He's used to being a guy, not someone up in everything. It might be hard."

Nick glared. "Because being a guy is better than being a part of it all? Bringing people into balance? That's our Calling, we're part of everything. You want to be just a guy?"

"No. No. Nick, I don't want to give this up at all. Come on." Joey sat on the bed and held Nick's face in his hand. "I'm in it with you."

Nick kissed him and then pushed him away. "I get that, Joe. But you like this guy, too, and you're acting like if he passes, it'll be this bad thing. It's an honor to be Called. It's everything. Didn't you want to be Called?"

Joey rubbed his face. This conversation was moving way out of balance. But Alicia had said, in her wisdom, truth was best. "No. I didn't. I knew I wasn't, man. Maybe I'm special but not like that." Joey glanced at Nick who was staring at the ceiling like it was a choir of Called ones singing life. "I know you wanted to be, but not me."

Nick sighed. "Maybe I did, but that was a long time ago. But I was ready to fail, when it happened. I just think, man, it wasn't for me or you, but that doesn't mean it's bad. Mostly," Nick said, sighing and still staring at the ceiling. "Mostly, man, I just think you don't want him to be called because you're hot for him."

"He's a handsome man. But I barely know him. He just seems pretty happy."

Nick looked down. "You know, let's do this. I'll head back and you can do the rest. Cause I think I'm just complicating shit and we have a holy mission." Nick got up and started throwing his clothes in his bag.

"Dude, what? You're leaving?"

"Yeah." Nick went into the bathroom and came back with all his bottles of things. "Searching is our duty, and I'm messing up yours. You're better at it than I am, I mean, mostly. I'm better with the ladies." Nick's smile looked forced. "But you're best with guys."

"You think I'm not seeing straight here. You think I won't want him Called." Joey felt cold, like the wind was hitting the window full force and going right through him. He'd been with Nick for years. It couldn't be ending. Not over this.

"You don't. That's what makes you better. Like, that's the way it's supposed to be. People want the wrong things, so the best people for being Holders are the ones who just get chosen to be. Remember that?" Nick's bag was lumpy and his shampoo bottle would burst open, for sure, and Joey wanted to say that. But he couldn't form the words.

Nick said, "Look, we were a good team. And this is just, this is like the part where we've run our course. You can see all these things about this guy and I can't. Because I'm just seeing you. So you're better for this because you're thinking about the mission and I'm thinking about you. So you should do this. You're like, perfect."

Joey said, "Nick, come on."

Nick kissed Joey's forehead and said, "No, you come on." Nick looked blank and walked out.

*

Joey went to the Widmark again and got very drunk. Excess was out of balance and wrong and Joey was thinking wrong was a place he could do for a little while.

Because his life was just shitty, JC sat down next to him somewhere around the fifth drink. "Hey," JC said, quietly.

"Hey to you." Joey drained the glass. "You, you, you. Hey, wanna hear a joke? It's about farting."

JC looked up at the ceiling and then down at the bar. "You gotta way to get home?"

"It's called a taxi. Doing the Bringer's work, they are." Joey opened his pack of cigarettes. He'd only smoked once before, but he remembered disliking it so he figured it was a good idea.

"I wouldn't have picked you as being religious," JC said, head cocked to stare at Joey sideways.

"I am. I really fucking am."

JC sat up straight and his fingers were tapping the bar to the beat of the music playing over the speakers. He said, "I know we're all supposed to be, it's the law and everything, right? But I think life is easier when you just let it be. You know, it's just a taxi, it's doing its thing."

"Everybody doing their thing with balance is the work of the Bringer of All Things."

"Yeah," JC said, "Sure. But maybe not thinking of that way, and just doing it, is, like, the happier path. You're doing your thing, they're doing their thing and that intersection is where it all works out and if you don't think about it, if you just let it be, it all happens right. Not to jump all over you for just talking."

Joey smacked his head into the bar. The stupid jerk had just passed the third test. Spontaneously reciting the words of an Elder Called One. Joey sat up, rubbed his head and said, "Hey, you got a car? Cause we really need to take a ride."

*

JC said, "You're one of those Searching guys?" He was driving to nowhere at this point, turning randomly.

"Like I said."

"And I could be a Called One, since I've already passed three tests and didn't even know it."

"Yup. And this is the third time I've told you now."

"You only told me once, man, I've just been repeating it since then." JC laughed. "Okay, I'm not holy. I don't -- I don't even believe in balance and bridges and all that. Seriously, I just mouth the words and go on with my life. I'm not any kind of Called type."

"We find balance through questioning sometimes." Joey shrugged. His hangover was kicking in hard.

"Why don't you, here's a thought. Be a friend, and tell me how to fail the next two."

"Doesn't work like that. Also, you already passed three, you're a Holder at the least and I gotta take you back to the Holding. That's the law."

"Like, you'll come for me. I can't run or anything."

"Well, technically, yes. It's the way things work. But why run? It's a great job. You search for a few years, and after you find enough people or a Called One, you get to be a full Holder and they send you out to do the Bringer's work out somewhere. I mean, in country, but still. Could be, like, New York City. Los Angeles." Joey was hoping for somewhere warm.

"Or I'm Called and then what?"

"Then you also go to the Holding and there's some training and then you speak however you want. If you're Called," and Joey was pretty convinced JC would be, "it's because you've got something to say to people."

"People should be doing what they want and getting laid and meeting people and doing stuff, not thinking about what I have to say."

"That's speaking. Plus, dude, you like performing. Being Called is just, like, divine performance."

JC made a U-turn and headed back towards the motel. "Here's what we do, okay? Let's just hang out for a week or two, no tests, nothing, just let me get used to this idea. Before we have to go back to the Holding place."

"That strikes me as a way to get to balance, man. I like it." Joey grinned.

*

Joey dicked around the convenience store for a few days, watching JC work. JC was generally a bright, happy fellow who had a smile for nearly everyone. Sometimes, he had a snarky comment after they left, but Joey enjoyed that as well. JC cracked him up. In the evenings, JC went home to a crappy apartment and Joey went as well. JC could barely cook, as Joey figured out the first night. Joey offered to cook the second night and then dinner was much more palatable.

JC passed the fourth test without knowing it, much to Joey's annoyance. After the fourth night, JC said, "Hey, man, come stay with me. Screw that motel you got." When Joey was unpacking, JC started playing with the Max Stones. Joey looked up at the way JC arranged them and sat down on the couch.

"You have to stop doing that. You just passed another test."

"Fuck," JC said, and knocked the stones over. "Those were a test?"

"How you arranged them. I didn't offer them to you, man, don't look at me like that."

"Shit." JC sat down on the floor. "Can you give me a hint about the fifth one? So I don't do it accidentally or something?"

"I can't tell you. Plus, that one is like, it's impossible to tell you how to fail it."

"Well, then how will you know if I pass it?" JC ran his hands through his hair. "I don't want to be Called."

"That makes you much more likely to be Called, man."

"Except I'm not. I'm a guy. I don't even believe in this stuff. I'm not kidding about that. So, you know, go ahead, arrest me. Haul me in."

"No one gets arrested for lack of belief."

"Just saying it," JC snarled and stood up. "This is your world, man, not mine. I don't believe, I don't care, I really don't want to do anything with this thing."

"JC." Joey sighed and sat back against the couch. "It's not like that. Sure, the Holders know the way and stuff. And we have a government built around that. It works. I mean, have you ever thought, like, if you're Called, you can change things? Hell, you can change things as a Holder. Balance evolves. Push one way, something gives and something pushes back."

"I can't believe you believe all this." JC glared. "You're pissing me off."

"Well, you're pissing me off. Come on. You like people, you like performing for them, you like making them happy and living nice and shit. You can do all that as a Holder or if you're Called. You're just all, I don't know."

JC said, "I don't know either." He shrugged. "I'm pissed off, but it's mostly, like, I like my life."

"You'll like it when it changes. You're Called, man."

"If I'm Called," JC said. "Still one more test."

Joey looked at his hands. "Yeah, um, you passed that one. While we were talking. Expressing doubt and admitting ignorance in a discussion of moral, uh, stuff."

"Fuck," JC said. "Fuck! I take it back. I do know. I know a lot."

"Sorry." JC grabbed the stones and threw them at Joey. It was pretty easy to dodge. JC went into his bedroom and slammed the door.

*

Joey managed to fall asleep somehow. He had just been staring at the ceiling and then JC was leaning over him, shaking his shoulders. "Joey," he said.

"Hrm?"

"I thought of a way out. Did I mention I'm not straight? That totally gets me out, right? That's not balance."

Joey blinked and rubbed his eyes. "Um, no. Not actually. Some of the current Called Ones are not straight, and of course, a few of the Elder Called Ones. You really didn't pay attention in church, did you?"

JC said, "Are you sure? Cause I thought --"

"Sure, certain Elder Called Ones weren't okay with it. But some were, and some didn't care and our wisdom is shaped by contradiction, too."

"I like you better when you just talk, not when you recite things." JC sighed and sat down next to Joey. "Okay. So how about you?"

"Me? I like me better when I'm having a good meal and there's someone great in my bed. But I just got dumped, so I'm feeling a little low right now."

JC patted Joey's thigh. "Sorry." He left his hand there as he said, "So, what happens now? That I'm all Called?"

"Well, we go back to the Holding. They verify you. Which is pretty easy, I've seen it. And then you get your own kind of Holding and Holders."

"Like you?" JC started rubbing Joey's thigh. Guy had nice hands. And Nick had been completely right, Joey really liked him.

Joey blew out his cheeks. "Yup. Whoever you want."

"I think I could put up with it if it were you." JC leaned over and kissed him. Joey was happy to kiss him back, hands in his short hair, the warmth of him.

Joey pulled back and said, "What do you think you will do, being Called?"

"Um. Well, have you around. I like talking to you. And I guess, I guess I'll do my job. Which is, uh, what? Talking a lot?"

"Speaking. Performing. Talking about how to do the right thing, what that is, asking questions. Plus, pretty much anything you want. Girls, boys, food, drink. Stuff like that." Joey watched JC's face. He mostly looked confused.

"I don't think it would be right to make people be my boyfriends or girlfriends. Or living large or something. I mean, it's a duty, right? Mostly I want to do my job."

"It's your right to have what you want." Joey shrugged.

"But it's not right." JC rubbed JC's thigh. "You're the one I want right now."

Joey sighed. JC was completely Called. The test Nick had failed, the one about acceptance of duty after being told that they were Called. He should tell JC that, that they'd just had the fifth test. But Joey was thinking more about JC's hand moving up his thigh and how Joey really wanted to fuck or get fucked. He pulled JC closer. It would be easier in the morning.

THE END.

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