NOTES and DISCLAIMERS: Thanks to Younger, Kelly, Kare, Katie, Jenn and Shana. And everyone who encouraged me to write Justin's wet dream. The Ducks broke my heart and all of this is made up.

NOTHING BUT NET

TO: "mom" (lharless@prodigy.net)
FROM: "Justin" (timberlajr@ku.edu)
SUBJECT: SAFE IN HOTEL, STOP WORRYING
March 13

Mom,
As promised, emailing you soon as I could. This is a nice hotel. Like, nice, seriously. Cable and HBO and porn. Which I will not order, of course. I'm rooming with JC, like I said, so, I wouldn't anyway. He was making jokes when we got in about seeing if they had gay porn.

It's okay, rooming with him. I remember what you said, and it's fine. I'm over it anyway, he shot me down, we're friends now, it's cool. It really is cool and it's nice to know somebody else on the team is like me, or whatever. We can talk about stuff.

So I might be starting tomorrow!!! I wasn't sure but Chris said on the plane it was between me and Carter and Carter was being an ass on the plane, so we'll see. With Rod Thompkins out for the whole month, well, we'll see. Can you imagine me starting at the NCAA tournament? I just want to do good however long I play.

Okay, I'll email you again after the game. Call me, please, right after either way, okay? Tomorrow afternoon, your number one son, in the first round, maybe even starting.

Okay, I'm signing off now, JC's disappeared off somewhere and I should study before bed. <-- See where I said I'd be studying? This is me, listening to you and studying for classes and not getting so excited about all this I neglect my very important studies.

TO: "Wademan" (wrobson@yahoo.com)
FROM: "Justin" (timberlajr@ku.edu)
SUBJECT: BIG SHOT
March 13

So here I am, playing in the tourney. Hotel room sharing with JC, but no action will be had as you might recall he is not interested in the Timberlake booty. His loss.

Watch me tomorrow.

TO: "mom" (lharless@prodigy.net)
FROM: "Justin" (timberlajr@ku.edu)
SUBJECT: RE: IN THE NEWS ALREADY!
March 14

Guess I'm here another two days, huh? Thank you so much for calling, it was so great to hear from you. And thanks for the email, already, wow. It just seems like this whole blur, not that I thought we'd lose, of course, but I didn't think I'd end up playing that much and then we all went out and watched the next game at some sports bar. I didn't have anything to drink.

So, you saw and I started and I played thirty minutes total. I can't believe my picture was up on ESPN. Thanks for saving that. Chris and Coach Wilkins both said I did really well and that was the best of all, almost as good as winning. Chris said most freshmen would've fucked up (sorry that is what he said) under the pressure or showboated and I didn't do either. Man, it was all such a blur I really can't wait to see the game tape tomorrow.

I've enclosed Paul's brackets though I want to note I completely disagree with him about the make-up of the final four.

Paul's wrong, and he will soon see. He's already wrong, since USC went down to a number twelve seed. We saw that game at the bar. Everyone thought they would just suck when they lost two of their starters from that car accident, remember I told you about that? And you said, always wear your seatbelt. I always do. So I wish I could have put money down on the whole thing because we're going to the final four, we're going to take it all. We got JC and I'll just stop now. I said all this on the phone.

Funny story: when we were at the bar watching the game, one of the guards on that team is named Fatone. Chris kept saying play more of the FAT one! Play more of the fat one. And JC was sitting on the other side of me and he whispered to me that they should play more of the guy named Bass cause he had a fine ass. Okay, not that funny, but it was really funny then. Turns out it's pronounced FUH-tone, not fat one. Not like I had 'em winning either, but they showed a lot of heart. Won't last the next round, though, you know.

Okay, call me tomorrow after the game again, okay, please? Love you mom!

TO: "mom" (lharless@prodigy.net)
FROM: "Justin" (timberlajr@ku.edu)
SUBJECT: RE: RE: IN THE NEWS ALREADY!
March 15

How was practice?

It was good. Definitely me starting again tomorrow cause Carter twisted his ankle. They say it's a level 2 so he may still be able to play if we play more games. Which we will. Starting in the second round, not so bad. Won't let it get to my head, you know that, and you don't need to say it because JC and Chris are saying it enough. Chris is a great assistant coach and I totally owe all this to him. And JC, too, because most seniors wouldn't waste their time being so nice to a freshman. And I guess I was kind of obnoxious back when I had a crush on him. But he's so nice.

Note that Paul's picks are going down left and right and I had 27 of 32 from the first round.

Oh, and a scouting tip. Ran into Bass and Fatone right before practice, they were getting out. From last night, remember? Anyway, Bass was wearing a shirt and I recognized it and it turns out he went to tech. For high school. He lives right near us, sort of. Near our old house. When he's not at school, of course. He seemed nice. Lance? He goes to first Baptist, maybe you know his parents or something. We just said hi and compared schools.

Okay no more scouting tips. And you don't need to save the papers just because my picture's in it though I know that won't stop you.

I'm off to study study study. JC's disappeared again, maybe he's found some cute guy or something. :)

TO: "Wademan" (wrobson@yahoo.com)
FROM: "Justin" (timberlajr@ku.edu)
SUBJECT: RE: RE: BIG-SHOT
March 15

Ass.

You know it. You picked wrong, you pay the consequences.

So you said you were okay with hearing this stuff, so here goes: met a cute guy. Plays for another team, from home, went to tech, hot. We didn't do anything more than just say, I'm from here, me, too, but yeah. At least I got to look at something interesting and new.

Watch me tomorrow as you lose more.

TO: "mom" (lharless@prodigy.net)
FROM: "Justin" (timberlajr@ku.edu)
SUBJECT: RE: CONGRATULATIONS AGAIN!
March 16

Had to write you before I went to bed. Even though we leave on a plane in the morning and back to school but only for a week!! Sweet Sixteen next. Thanks for taping the game, I guess we'll watch it a lot.

Can't believe the other games from today. Chris said we're going to have to watch tapes with the fat one (Fatone and Bass the fine ass says JC) because they keep winning and in two more games, it'll be us. I say no way, but they're playing really well. Helps when the other team's best scorer goes down halfway through the game with a broken ankle, of course.

Is JC really seeing someone?

I don't know. I don't think so. He's not out at all, really, except to his parents and me, I guess and he's good, he's really good and I bet he'll get drafted and be in the NBA and then he probably still won't come out so it just seems like he's got it rough. I don't know, I don't think he's seeing anybody for more than a night or something. Maybe I'll ask him, but he sometimes gets down when I ask him about a real relationship.

And before you ask, I'm not seeing anyone still. I'm not like JC, I like some girls, too but I just want to make it through the tourney, anyway.

Love you and will call you when I get back to school.

TO: "Britney" (spearsbl@ku.edu)
FROM: "Justin" (timberlajr@ku.edu)
SUBJECT: RE: BIG STAR NOW
March 20

Nice to hear from you, Brit. Glad classes are going well for you. It was nice of you to write and that's cool, that you saw me on TV and stuff.

I'm really busy right now so I don't think we can get together, at least until the tournament's over. But email me then. I got to cut this short, I have a lot of studying.

TO: "mom" (lharless@prodigy.net)
FROM: "Justin" (timberlajr@ku.edu)
SUBJECT: MOM, PLEASE CALL ME
March 21

Mom, I tried to call you from the airport, please call me when you get this, I need to talk to you.

TO: "mom" (lharless@prodigy.net)
FROM: "Justin" (timberlajr@ku.edu)
SUBJECT: MOM I NEED TO TALK TO YOU
March 21

I forgot tonight is your date night with Paul. I really need you to call me when you get in, please? No matter how late.

JC and Chris are going out. And they have been since last summer, since before I met them. Okay, see, I was supposed to pick up JC for the ride to the airport and I went by early and I thought JC was asleep or something and I still had JC's key from when he was gone to Chicago so I just went in. and he and Chris were making out, on the bed. They had been doing more than that because I saw Chris's glasses on the table and his hair was wet. And then I still had to give jc a ride to the airport and it all sucks.

I'm not mad that JC has boyfriend, even though JC seems to think that's why I'm mad. I'm over my crush. And I guess he wasn't lying when he said he wouldn't tell anyone I'm bi because he didn't tell Chris. And Chris never told me he was gay or dating JC and that's part of why I'm mad. But mostly it's that I don't get why they're together. JC's a senior and Chris is an assistant coach and they shouldn't even have gone out once much less date for nearly a year. You shouldn't date students if you're a coach and much less if you're both gay and what about the team?

I'm still rooming with JC because I don't want to say why JC and I aren't getting along and it doesn't matter because JC's gone again with Chris I know now.

So please call me because I need to talk someone and I can't believe we have a game tomorrow. I'm not going to let this affect my playing because we all worked so hard for this and I want to win. You only get one chance here and I'm not going to screw things up.

Call me please I can't talk to anyone here about all this.

TO: "mom" (lharless@prodigy.net)
FROM: "Justin" (timberlajr@ku.edu)
SUBJECT: RE: ARE YOU OKAY?
March 22

It was just amazing. I know, I said that already but we so kicked ass. What blows me away is who won the Illinois game. Or who lost. Illinois just completely folded and now I guess it's bass and fat one on Sunday. We've watched some tape but we need to watch a lot more. Those guys are seriously kicking ass. I don't think they can beat us, though. Especially if we're as good Sunday as we were today. Funny that I'm not even talking to JC but everything still worked on the court. I'm really not that surprised because JC's so serious about the game, it's like all he can think about is playing. And when he's not playing he's thinking about his art stuff or, I guess, Chris.

It's still really weird.

It's easy to understand why they didn't tell you though I know it hurts. It's not easy being gay and you know that, especially when you're relying on an athletic scholarship and you can't tell anyone because that's the way things are. Chris didn't know you would understand and he and JC had a very big secret to protect. You said on the phone they said they were in love and that's something worth protecting.

he's a coach. And JC's an undergrad, he's a player and Chris has all this power over him. Even if he doesn't use it. I know that's not what's going on but there's a reason there are rules. What if they have a big fight and Chris decides to bench JC? What's JC going to do? What if they have a big fight and JC tells someone, he could get Chris fired. They shouldn't have started at all. I tried to say that to JC and Chris and neither of them wanted to listen to me. I'm not a kid, I know I'm young but I'm not stupid. This relationship was a really bad idea and they should have broken it off. Or not started at all. How hard is it to keep it in your pants? I've been doing it since I got to college.

It's late and I have to study. JC's actually here, maybe he and Chris broke up or something and I still need to study. I love you, mom.

TO: "Wademan" (wrobson@yahoo.com)
FROM: "Justin" (timberlajr@ku.edu)
SUBJECT: THINGS ARE COOL
March 22

So there's shit going down I can't talk to you about, but overall things are cool.

Kicked ass in practice. Plan to steal soap from every hotel I stay in for this tourney as you proposed. Will show off when I get home.

Thanks for agreeing with me that Bass is hot. Can't believe I have to play him on Sunday, but thinking he's hot won't interfere with my game. It won't even come up. And stop snickering.

TO: "mom" (lharless@prodigy.net)
FROM: "Justin" (timberlajr@ku.edu)
SUBJECT: RE: GOOD FOR YOU
March 23

Paul says he's glad you're doing well with your picks and he has your peach cobbler waiting for you when you get home.

I hope so!! We have a pool here, too, and I'm raging there. I have us to win tomorrow and I think I got that one right, too. Wish I could actually get some money out of it. :) :)

Can't believe I made the front page of the paper, wow. Thanks for saving it. I bet there'll be more tomorrow since it's me and Bass, and he went to tech, remember I told you that? He's playing well. Now that I've seen all his games from the tournament. We watched games today, just the ones they've played so far in the tourney because before doesn't matter. I didn't sit with Chris or JC so yeah. We're still not talking so much. I'm still mad.

you should talk to them, honey.

easy for you to say. I talked to JC a little but we just started arguing.

I'm going to study now. JC's still here so I guess he and Chris did break up.

TO: "mom" (lharless@prodigy.net)
FROM: "Justin" (timberlajr@ku.edu)
SUBJECT: SORRY I DIDN'T EMAIL YOU LAST NIGHT, I'M OKAY
March 25

So, short version of the story after we won: I met a guy and I spent the night and I should've called you or something. I'm not in trouble. And yes, I used protection, okay?

Long version, because I guess I should tell someone. You saw the part where we kicked ass. And it was all great, we did so well and we were playing so great. I can't believe I've averaged twenty points a game the last four games and a double double last night. I know, I know, stay in school and trust me, I will, but wow, it's really amazing to read these things people are writing about me. And two minutes before the game was up I looked over at the other bench and they knew they'd lost, which I get, that could be us, it's a one shot game and one mistake becomes another mistake and then it doesn't matter if you're a better team overall, it matters if you're a better team right then and there. They've been the better team right then three times but not this time. So I looked over at the bench and there was Lance and Joey and they were both slumped down and covering their eyes because they'd lost. People are like, oh, they made it so far but if you make it this far you're not thinking woohoo, look at what we did, you're thinking we were so close. So I felt bad for them.

After the game we went out to celebrate. We're playing in Atlanta and I was psyched but when we went out to this place and I went back to the bathroom and Chris and JC haven't broken up at all, I saw them in there. So I left that place and didn't say anything to anyone and I thought about going back to the hotel and instead I went to this place two doors down. So anyway, in the back there was Lance and Joey and they gave me the evil eye but I guess I looked miserable enough they let me sit down. And then, swear to God, I've snuck into enough gay clubs to know this, Lance totally cruised me. He stared and everything, complete invitation. It actually made me feel better, really. We were just talking about the other brackets and then some news story came on about our game. Poor guys, they made the news - them looking all depressed on the bench. And my dunk from the second quarter. And JC's three pointer. Then Joey left to get really drunk.

So, I asked lance if he was gay and he sort of admitted it and I admitted mine and I guess I'd had two beers or something and maybe more and I ended up telling him all about JC and Chris because I had to tell someone and you've been great but he's my age. He said I shouldn't have told him because I didn't know him at all and it could get Chris fired and end JC's career and we agreed that I'm really stupid. Then he basically said the same things you did but I don't know, I felt a little better. He was talking about how he didn't even get an athletic scholarship and he thought he'd just be riding the bench for the finals and stuff and he guessed they would have done better if not for their two star players getting killed but they thought they could try. He was really disappointed. I said they'd done really well and he told me to shut up. It wasn't mean, though. He's not thinking he'll ever make the NBA, he's going to get his MBA, he said. He also said he kinda felt bad because one of the guys who died, he was a complete asshole and used to call Lance a fag but that doesn't mean he wanted the guy to die.

So, right, that's not important, anyway, we both got drinks from Joey and then he asked if I maybe wanted to go back to the hotel and I said sure. And it turns out we're in the same hotel and yeah, we did it. And we used a condom and you don't get to ask any more questions.

So I got back to my room and JC was there and I was really worried that I was going to get in trouble but JC said he'd covered for me. He was really pissed and I just didn't know what to say. I asked him if he was just covering for me because I was playing good and he said he was covering me for because he was my friend. It was all really shitty, sorry. But we talked a little. I don't know.

So I'm okay, and you can call me in a few hours and I'll be back at school. I love you.

TO: "Wademan" (wrobson@yahoo.com)
FROM: "Justin" (timberlajr@ku.edu)
SUBJECT: RE: RE: THINGS ARE COOL
March 26

congrats. You did kick ass.

Thanks. I think I did well, but the team did better. We were in the zone.

It was a really weird night. I'm having this thing with Chris and JC and I skipped out of the celebration early because of it. I ran into Bass and got shit-faced and, fuck yeah, got laid. I'm going to go ahead and brag a little and you just keep playing the supportive friend, okay?

First off, he's completely hot and in great shape. Hung. And he completely knows what he's doing. Not that I don't, but let me just say this: came three times. And proof I do know what I'm doing: so did he. We fucked twice and again I say you should stick with athletes because it's all about stamina. And I mentioned hung? And not a natural blond which was easy to tell because Bass is not weird like JC and does not shave down there. Have I mentioned his mouth yet? Because the ass is fine but the things he can do with that mouth. Well, you'll never know but I will try to describe at a later date.

And the fun morning after stuff: So I fell asleep there and then in the morning I woke up when Lance was all spazzing because someone was knocking at his door. So he made me hide in the bathroom, in the shower because he's not out to anyone except his friend Joey at school and I wasn't pissed or anything because I didn't want to be seen either. Anyway he got rid of the guy which was just one of the assistant coaches bringing by the state paper and there's him and Joey looking all sad on the front page. And then we didn't really talk but we both needed to get ready and stuff.

Wanted to tell you that. Will call when I get home.

TO: "mom" (lharless@prodigy.net)
FROM: "Justin" (timberlajr@ku.edu)
SUBJECT: RE: RE: SORRY I DIDN'T EMAIL YOU LAST NIGHT, I'M OKAY
March 26

Back at school, but I'm behind on school stuff and it's easier to email you than try to call in whatever five minutes I have available.

He sounds nice, you should call him or write him.

I will. Okay? I asked Chris to help me figure out his email address because Chris went there and he has friends there and Chris was being a butt. I said "just tell me" and he was like, "or what?" Like he thought I was threatening him or something. It really pissed me off, because I thought we were friends. I wouldn't tell even if I think he's doing a really stupid thing. So, he told me the school address thing.

I'm glad you made up with JC

I haven't really. We're still talking, but I don't get him. He's going to be in the NBA, for sure, and he's still with his assistant coach. I get it, love. Blah blah blah. Lance said the same thing, right before I left and I just don't get it. We have so many opportunities and these games really matter. We could be national champions and JC, he's like, I love him no one will know.

Okay, I got to study. Thank for sending that stuff, I love the cookies!

TO: jlbass@ou.edu
FROM: "Justin" (timberlajr@ku.edu)
SUBJECT: HI, IT'S JUSTIN
March 27

Hi, It's Justin, we met last week. I hope I have the right email. I just wanted to drop a note to say hi again. And it would be nice to talk to you again.

TO: "Wademan" (wrobson@yahoo.com)
FROM: "Justin" (timberlajr@ku.edu)
SUBJECT: UPDATE
March 29

Two days and no email from Bass. Okay, whatever. I maybe had the wrong email.

Off to Elite Eight tomorrow, make sure to watch because I know you like to see your brackets collapse.

TO: "mom" (lharless@prodigy.net)
FROM: "Justin" (timberlajr@ku.edu)
SUBJECT: HERE I AM
March 30

Another hotel I feel like I'm already in the NBA in some ways. We didn't stay in places this nice when we were on the road this year, you know? And someone recognized me at the airport, saw me on TV and said they knew the hair. Stupid fro. Anyway they wanted an autograph! From me!! And JC too. Not letting it go to my head. Not at all. We have two more games, I hope and I want to win.

Yes I emailed him, and no he hasn't answered. Whatever, I don't want to talk about it.

Rooming with JC again. We're kinda getting along, but not like we used to. And nothing's changed with Chris.

But I'm still really happy because we're here. Here in the Final Four. It's so incredibly exciting that we did this well and we're going to do it great. I know it.

And I'm not packing your gifts without opening them anymore. I saw the picture of Lance you snuck in my stuff. Stop that. :)

Love you.

TO: "Lance B." (lanceb@msn.com)
FROM: "Justin" (timberlajr@ku.edu)
SUBJECT: RE: GOOD LUCK TODAY
March 30

I never check my school account because I had email before I got to school and the only email I get on that account is stupid spam and occasionally email from professors. So I wasn't blowing you off, I just didn't check the account.

I believe you. :)

I'm not about to miss the game, we're all going to watch it. But I'll be rooting for the other team, of course. Because we all hate you.

Okay. But not really, right? You got to add a smiley, okay, I can't tell if you're kidding. :)

And yeah, things are still weird with JC but better and completely weird with Chris. Not going to let it affect the game, because it's just too important.

Yeah, like I'd forget you. I get laid so often, I forget all the cute boys after 24 hours.

Well if I sent the email to the wrong account I didn't want to give anything away, okay?

I got to go, you know, Final Four. ;)

Write me again, okay?

TO: "mom" (lharless@prodigy.net)
FROM: "Justin" (timberlajr@ku.edu)
SUBJECT: UPDATE ON JC
March 31

Sorry for the way I sounded on the phone, when you called I didn't know anything. It was the last five minutes and they took JC to the locker room and I had no idea what was going on or how serious all of it was. So the update is it's serious. Not life-threatening serious, but career ending serious. Especially after having to have his knee scoped sophomore year. He's a lot calmer about it than the rest of us.

I really didn't even notice because there was only five minutes left and you saw how close everything was, I think we were tied then. And then the game was just bam bam up and down the court and the score going back and forth. I don't know how I got that last free throw, I could barely hear the people over my heart. And I don't even remember that last lay-up, just the buzzer and seeing the score and we'd won. Which was great except when I got the locker room and people were talking about JC. So, sorry when you called. I was just hearing so much stuff, I didn't mean to be rude.

And now I'm checking my email and I forgot to tell you that I got an email from Lance right before the game and I have another one from him to answer after I write you. I have a lot of emails, guess I'm all popular now. Whatever, I know who my real friends are. Which I guess includes Chris. He's so in love, he looks at JC like something special. But it's more than that. When we were at the hospital I could see his face and I just pulled him away from everyone else and said he needed to be Chris the assistant coach and not Chris the crazed boyfriend or he'd give shit away. He was like, okay, am I being obvious? And I said yeah.

He said I played really well for everything that was happening at the end and I said he was coaching really well with all the crap going down, even in those last few minutes when he had to have been really worried about JC. Cause I'd look over and there he'd be, glasses in place, clipboard in hand, talking with everyone, making the things Coach Wilkins needed to have happen happen. Then Chris said if we were done jerking each other off, we should get back. So we're friends again.

JC's a lot calmer about all this than the rest of us, like I said. He said he was glad he applied to all those MFA programs so he still has a career plan.

I don't know how we're going to do anything tomorrow without him. He's so important to our team, he's like our heart.

I love you.

TO: "Lance B" (lanceb@msn.com)
From: "Justin" (timberlajr@ku.edu)
SUBJECT: RE: HEY YOU
March 31

I was going to write right away but then I saw the news about JC -- how is he?

Out of the game tomorrow, out of the game maybe permanently. He's weird. I love him, but he's weird. He's pretty calm about it. He said he needed to focus on one thing anyway, and he always felt basketball was distracting from his art and his art was distracting from basketball. I don't get how pushing paint around would distract from the game, but I'm not JC. He applied to some MFA programs -- and he's going to accept one and go try to be an artist. The rest of us are more upset, though JC was really upset about missing the game tomorrow. I don't know how we'll do without him. Maybe you'll get your wish and we'll lose.

You played well, you little superstar.

Aw, thanks. I don't remember half of it, I was just in a zone. And JC was there, so it's always great that way.

Below is a line of smileys, feel free to insert them after anything I've written that you want to think is sarcastic.

Okay, this is the first thing that made me laugh since the end of the game.

Good luck tomorrow.

Thanks. I guess we'll see how it goes. I want to win, I always want to win, it's just hard to imagine getting out there for this game of all games without JC. Thanks for writing!

TO: "Wademan" (wrobson@yahoo.com)
FROM: "Justin" (timberlajr@ku.edu)
SUBJECT: THE IMPORTANT NEWS
March 31

Not an April's fool joke, not until tomorrow, but guess who emailed me? Starts with a B and ends with a fine ass. Forgot to tell you when we talked about JC.

TO: "Lance B." (lanceb@msn.com)
FROM: "Justin" (timberlajr@ku.edu)
SUBJECT: RE: RE: RE: HEY YOU
March 31

Okay, I seriously need to go bed soon. I have a game tomorrow. I need to just give you my IM for after tomorrow. You have AIM, right? But!

speaking of weird. There's you.

I am not weird. Certainly not like JC. I'm thinking of majoring in English, which is not weird. Unlike some people who are majoring in Physics and thinking of getting a MBA. I'm not pointing fingers here, but I am staring in your direction.

You don't really need luck. I feel compelled to tell you that I have Maryland winning, and not you.

You're wrong. I'm sure. Pretty sure. I don't know, I'm trying not to think about it.

You wouldn't say thanks if you knew about all the dirty fantasies, I mean innocent daydreams I've been having about you. Which I'm just putting out there. I may be taping your games and planning on making screencaps. And maybe airbrushing your clothes off. This might happen.

I may have my hand in my pants right now. Just mentioning that. Putting it out there.

Now I am definitely going to bed. Big game tomorrow. I'm nervous, I'm nervous.

*
*

TO: "Lance B." (lanceb@msn.com)
FROM: "Justin" (timberlajr@ku.edu)
SUBJECT: RE: YOU'RE A BIG DORK
June 5

"Justin" (timberlajr@ku.edu) wrote on June 3:
I don't know why I'm making this a separate email from our current lengthy argument about how you know nothing about baseball, but here goes. I'm getting out of school on June 16th, after graduation. I'm done earlier but I'm staying for JC's graduation. He says he should be able to walk across the stage without even a cane by then and I don't want to miss that. He's going to grad school in New York City and Chris got a job there coaching with Columbia, still an assistant, of course. They're going to keep trying and still keeping things really quiet, but they're in love and they're stupid. Anyway, after the graduation, and when I come home I thought I might stop by and see you. Since I know where you live because I cleverly saved the return address on that package you sent. If that's okay with you.

I included all that because you're a complete dork. Please come by. Like I would say no. Bring flowers and chocolates and let's make out on the lawn. So come by after dark. And don't bring flowers, that's too girly. Or chocolates, because the fine Bass ass needs to stay in shape this summer in preparation for beating y'all next March. In fact bring nothing, and just show up. Wear only the nets you cut down, and I'll definitely be happy to see you.

Just because I got to be one of the players who helped cut down the nets doesn't mean I got to keep it. It's at the school, so I'd just have to show up naked. And you know, summer and the seats will be hot, so I think I'll wear clothes.

Either you're a complete dork, or somehow you think I'm stupid enough not to want to get hot and heavy with my email boyfriend in person for the first time since he won the NCAA National Championship. I go with complete dorkiness on your part.

Fine. Excuse me for being polite. See if I bring you chocolates.

See you in two weeks.

THE END

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