Notes and disclaimers: So completely made up and fictional. For entertainment only. Small nick from Melanie Thernstrom's The Dead Girl. Thanks to Missy, Younger, Kel and Katie.

PLAYING YOUR SONG

Justin loathes AJ right now. If this were some hot spot crammed with all the right people, AJ grinning across VIP through blinking lights, Justin would settle for the usual mild distaste, smile and wave. Make a snide remark to Trace and then be nice. But this is a low-lit sports bar in the Valley with ten other people in the whole place, two TV tuned to Telemundo sports, and AJ is squeezing into the bench next to Justin. AJ smiles and says, "Hey," and sits down. AJ signals to the bartender and smacks the table. "I can't believe you're here."

"I can't believe you're here. Should you be in a bar?" It's a rude question but this is AJ. AJ talks all the time, never stops talking. AJ tells everyone everything. He'll tell US about cheating on his fiancée. So maybe AJ won't even realize he should be offended, like Justin would. Justin smiles a tight smile.

"Just getting a Coke. Also the guy who owns this place? The bartender? Howie's second cousin. He doesn't brag about it, you know, doesn't like the band. But he loves Howie and he wouldn't serve me booze even if I tried to pay him a million bucks. Howie'd kill him. So it's a perfect place to watch the games." Because AJ has to explain everything, even to someone like Justin who he's only met ten times, tops. Maybe more, but none that mattered. AJ smiles, his face bright and maybe tired.

Justin used to love this place. Right up until about AJ walked in. AJ sauntering in with his little strut put an end to Justin's attempt to get away from things. Joey once said that AJ's the only Backstreet Boy he'd fuck, one of the those endless stupid discussions late at night after a show. Chris voted for Nick because he'd heard Nick was hung like a horse, and Lance agreed. Justin didn't vote, but he thinks now that AJ has a nice walk. A sexy walk. If only he wouldn't open his mouth and want Justin to talk.

AJ says, "You here for the games?"

Justin licks his teeth. He says, "Yeah, pretty much."

"I thought you liked basketball. This is baseball. I mean, are you really watching this?"

Justin sips his beer. "I like basketball best."

AJ, naturally, won't shut up. He's all settled in, sometimes reaching over and nudging Justin. His hands are warm, dry. Justin figured that being an alcoholic in a bar would be stressful but AJ's calm. He's still short and still skinny sexy in that in your face way. Everything about AJ is in your face, all over you. When AJ grips his glass of Coke and lifts it, the tattoos on his forearm shift and tighten. Maybe having AJ all over you and in your face wouldn't suck, but Justin's pretty sure he doesn't want to think about it tonight.

Apparently AJ's managed to keep secret one thing about himself and it's his obsession with baseball. It's an endless stream of statistics and anecdotes. Justin doesn't say anything; he just watches the game. It's the most boring thing he's ever seen in his life, but he tends to feel that way about baseball. He thinks it would be fine if AJ weren't fucking here and even thinking AJ is pretty hot and would be tolerable if it weren't Justin's night off isn't balancing that out.

"So I'm ruining your night, aren't I?" AJ nudges Justin's arm.

Justin blinks. He's sure he didn't say anything out loud. He shakes his head. "No, not at all." God, maybe the next time AJ gives an interview he'll say Justin is an asshole. He probably wouldn't. "This is great. I'm just really tired."

"Aren't you in rehearsal now, you must be exhausted. Fuck, I don't miss rehearsals."

Justin says, "But you miss working, I'm sure."

"I'm working. Just not exactly where I want to be or with who I want it to be." AJ pauses. "Like you right now."

"Huh?"

"You seem kinda like you don't like me." Justin clenches his jaw. AJ would ask. Of course, AJ would. And it's not the truth, not really.

"I like you fine. I don't know you. And, you know, I'm really tired. I'm not, you know --"

"Up for socializing?" AJ smiles. Of course he does. "Dude, I get that. You heading out?"

Justin nods. Vigorously. He's so ready to leave. He puts a twenty on the table, another tip. And then he remembers it's Howie's second cousin's bar and adds another twenty. It's not like he'll be back.

"Can I get a ride?" AJ waves to the bartender again and puts a hundred on the table over Justin's twenties.

"A ride? You didn't drive here?"

"I was at a meeting, right over a few blocks. And I met my sponsor before and he drove me over and I thought I would get a ride with Rico, Howie's cousin? But I'm tired, too. We don't live that far from each other." He smiles again.

Justin's being irrational and irritable and immature. He knows it and he hates it. So he says sure.

When AJ gets in the car, he puts on his seatbelt and then reaches in his pocket. "Okay if I smoke? I'll roll down the window."

"Do you have to? I mean, not in the car." Justin turns off the street and turns on his radio.

AJ's actually quiet after he tucks his cigarettes back in his front pocket. They stick out of his tight jeans. Then he says, "You know, it was really cool running into you tonight. Because, it's just cool. I always thought you were cool."

"I'm nothing but cool." Justin laughs.

"You know what I mean. I mean, it's cool cool, but you're cool. You're, like, shiny and all surface. I feel like I could spend months and months watching you on TV and shit and still know nothing about you, really. Not more than you wanted me to. Cool."

Justin holds the steering wheel tighter. "So what? Is that a criticism?"

"It's not. Really. It's just different --"

"It's really not. A lot of people, a lot of people in our line of work as it were, they make those choices. It's not therapy, it's a fucking interview. It's about selling things, albums, tours, us. I know you don't get it, but I'm not anyone's fucking business. You know? It's a job." Justin laughs at himself. "Fuck, whatever. I sound all worked up."

"You're all passionate about this." AJ grins, sly, when Justin glances over. "It's hot, man."

"Hot, cool, you're all over the place tonight with your descriptions." Justin inhales deeply, grins, and turns off the highway.

"See, I'm getting to you. It's, like, the real you under all the cover of politeness and yes ma'am and I don't want to talk about that. It's hot." Now the fucker's smirking. Justin wants to laugh again.

"Are you hitting on me? Cause, seriously, go, you, something I actually didn't know about AJ McLean."

AJ just laughs. Justin sighs. He's being immature all over again, letting himself be baited. AJ tugs at his pants and says, "Man, can we stop by your place? I gotta pee."

"I'll stop at a gas station."

"Aren't we right near your place?"

Two minutes from Justin's place. AJ's been better company than Trace was this evening, Trace on his jag of bitching about going out and going out and meeting chicks. Justin turns hard and doesn't smirk when AJ braces himself against the door. Justin brakes and turns off the car as AJ is getting out. Justin takes a moment to get his seatbelt off and walks slowly up to the door. AJ is just standing there, hands in his pockets. AJ says, "Door is locked. No one's answering."

Justin looks up and sees the light in Trace's room and then a light in the back through one of the windows. He's pissed off all over again. He reaches over and unlocks the door. After AJ's in, he slams it shut. He points at the bathroom and AJ saunters that way. Saunters. Because AJ doesn't give a fuck and is just waiting for his bladder to be empty so he can get back to talking and talking and talking.

Justin sits down on the floor and closes his eyes. If Chris were here, he'd say "you're buggin'." He'd say it with a grin. Justin inhales deeply and exhales. Relax, he thinks. Buggin'. Trace was an ass earlier tonight, but he's tired, too. He won't be so tired tomorrow. AJ isn't the world's most annoying person; he's just someone who makes different choices from Justin. There's the work and there's him and one is not the other. Justin tries to breathe deeply and relax. It's almost working.

AJ comes out of the bathroom and stands over Justin. "You have chairs, man." He grins and wipes his wet hands on his jeans.

Justin stands up. "Yeah, I just needed to calm down. You ready to go?"

"No tour of the house? I gotta wait for Cribs?"

"I don't plan on doing Cribs." Justin reminds himself to be calm. "You really want one or is this your weird hitting on me thing?"

"Both." AJ almost giggles. "Come on, you're a hot guy."

"Aren't you engaged?" Justin's been asking a lot of rude questions tonight. He'll hate himself in the morning.

AJ frowns. "Yes. But I'm supposed to see other people. Work out my issues. And then maybe we'll get back together. She says."

He looks sad and Justin's probably been acting like a complete ass all night, so he starts showing AJ the house. He likes the house, he could like AJ if he tried, he actually does under all his annoyance tonight. AJ's definitely hot, and that's not a reason to like someone but it sure helps.

He just doesn't shut up. He asks questions, he pays attention, and then he asks more, talks about how much his house cost, it's just never ending. The paying attention part is nice. The tour ends in his bedroom. He sits on the bed and says, "I think we're done."

AJ says, "Yeah?" A thousand leers and innuendos packed into the word. Justin almost admires that skill. Then AJ takes off his glasses and polishes them with his shirt. Lifts his shirt and shows off his stomach. Justin's seen AJ's stomach before. It's still nice. Stupid tattoo, though.

Justin just stares. He's fine with whatever comes next. He hopes it's good. Then AJ pushes him back on the bed, strong and wiry like Justin would expect, kissing Justin, tongue against his lips and Justin decides this might be the best way to relax. Even the mature thing to do. He laughs a little against AJ's lips.

AJ presses against Justin, his thighs pushing Justin's legs open, rough denim against thin khakis. Justin runs his hands up under AJ's thin tank top, AJ's sweating now, slick and smooth. Justin's heart is beating faster and he's breathing fast, when he can, between AJ kissing him so it's not the textbook definition of relaxing but it works for Justin.

AJ, of course, is a talker. He kisses Justin's jaw and then up, right near his ear and that's the nicest jolt, straight to Justin's dick. Then AJ says, "You like that, don't you?" AJ's hands up under Justin's shirt, pushing it up and off, AJ says, "Get you naked, wanna see everything without airbrushing."

Justin turns his head and lets AJ get his shirt off. He stretches his arms up and then rubs AJ's back, up and down. Justin's only slept with three guys and none of them were this small, though small isn't the word. Wade was skinny wiry like this, but taller than Justin and his back felt like it went on forever, all muscles. Chris and Joey aren't any definition of skinny and Justin remembers loving the weight of them each time, being pushed into mattresses. He wonders now if either of them thought he was like this, if he felt like this. AJ feels like a live wire, not exactly squirming, but more like dancing, constant wonderful motion against all of Justin.

"Freckles, and freckles. Why do they take all these out, it's fucking gorgeous." Justin almost laughs again. Justin shuffles under AJ and undoes AJ's belt, the buckle pressing hard against Justin's thigh. Just for a moment, then Justin pulls the belt away, opens AJ's jeans and pushes them off. They're stuck somewhere on AJ's thighs, stupid tight jeans. AJ's perfectly trimmed goatee scrapes against Justin's chest and his fingers are pressing against Justin's waist.

"So you don't talk much during sex, huh?" AJ has a sexy voice. It's low and raspy and something about it makes Justin want to shove his dick down AJ's throat.

Justin says, "Usually, I dunno, man. But keep doing that, please." AJ's pulled off Justin's pants and underwear and he's slowly, slow as fucking molasses mapping Justin's hip with his hands and mouth. A tease, a motherfucking tease and Justin hadn't expected that of AJ at all.

"That's not an answer." AJ looks up. His hands don't stop moving, little circles getting wider, closer and closer to Justin's dick. Justin's so hard, he just wants. AJ keeps talking. "It's like, are you not talking because you're keeping it all in or are you not talking because you just don't?" AJ stares at Justin, doesn't break eye contact even as his hand is wrapping around the base of Justin's dick just right.

"Is both, is that acceptable?" Justin clenches his jaw and pushes his hips up, AJ's hand moving up and down fucking finally on Justin's dick. "Keep fucking doing that, please."

AJ grins. "A little feedback, we all like a little feedback." Justin rolls his eyes and looks up at the ceiling. Arches his back and moans with every perfect stroke of AJ's hand, his thumb on the head of Justin's dick just a moment and gone. AJ's jeans, still not off, the zipper scraping against Justin's calf, just a touch harder edged than the way AJ's beard felt against Justin's chest. Just a touch. Justin moans and brings up his leg, tries to push AJ's jeans off with his foot.

"I like the moaning, you keep that up. Be louder." AJ shimmies and his jeans are off. Now they're both naked, so Justin cheers. AJ apparently likes that, he finally starts using his mouth and his tongue and his hands on Justin's dick and balls and that's just all good. Justin can be vocal. He laughs and swears and thinks about Trace two doors down. So he gets louder.

AJ licks and sucks like a pro and doesn't stop when Justin clamps his hand on the back of AJ's head so he can just shove up and fuck AJ's mouth. Then AJ sits up and easily shakes off Justin's hand. "More time with the weights, man," AJ says, laughing. "I like you warmed up. I really like you warmed up." AJ grabs Justin's thighs, his hands wet and hot, and pushes them against Justin's chest. "Fucking hot, you're so fucking sexy when you're not being polite."

Justin grunts. He grabs the back of his knees and pulls up his hips. "You better have a condom, fucker."

"Of course, man. But no please?" AJ keeps his hand on Justin, his fingers pushing in Justin, but he twists and reaches down by the floor with the other. It looks like a really complicated yoga pose. Justin puts his head down and closes his eyes. It feels great and it hurts and it's amazing. He hears the crackle of the wrapper and then AJ's fingers are gone. Justin breathes deeply. AJ holds one of Justin's legs, his other hand on Justin's ass, lifting and then he pushes in.

Justin's surprised they didn't have some long conversation about who's on top and all that but he's not surprised AJ keeps a running commentary. Lots of "so tight," and "fucking love this," and "you're amazing." Justin just grunts and says, "fuck" over and over. Justin loves this. He fucking loves it. He loves the feel and the push and the burn and the way his brain almost completely shuts off because it's just so fucking much.

AJ leans on Justin's legs as he thrusts, swears some more. When AJ comes he moans loud and then softer, like a balloon deflating. Then AJ is licking at Justin's lips, Justin opens his mouth for one more kiss. One more. He bites AJ's lip and AJ laughs. "God, you're almost fun." AJ puts Justin's legs back down, rubs them and then starts jerking Justin off. AJ has perfect sized hands, really, and the little push of one of his rings every once and a while, it's more of the perfect, perfect, perfect in Justin's head. He comes with a grunt like AJ.

Justin feels like he's floating, a great post-orgasm glow. Everything feels like grace and Justin just wants it to last forever. AJ slaps Justin's thigh. Justin opens his eyes. "This was random."

AJ grins. He's pulling on his pants. "Totally. But in a good way. That was a really great fuck. It's nice to see your real face."

Justin sits up and rubs his eyes. "Dude, it's not like I lie all the time. It's not like it's not me doing my job."

"But you know, it's like Howie, see, Howie is always so quiet and I used to think he was this deep person, and there must be so much more there."

"And it turns out he's just shallow and dumb?" Justin scoots forward on the bed.

"No, it's just, dude, Howie's not dumb or shallow." AJ shakes his head. "I'm not making any sense. But I like you more than I like the guy who's doing his job on TV."

Justin crosses his arms. "Same guy. I just don't think my job requires me to be all out there, and I don't think -- I don't think. Man, I should give you a ride home."

AJ shrugs. "Sure. Now?"

"Sure. You want some coffee first? I need to shower, too."

AJ goes downstairs and Justin showers quickly. He cradles his balls and thinks while the hot water hits him. It's the first time all night he's really been alone. He feels better, less stressed and overwhelmed. Still tired, but a good tired, nice post-sex tired. He gets dressed and goes downstairs.

AJ's already made coffee and his half finished cup is in front of him. He says, "Nice kitchen."

"Yeah. So we're done comparing public personas among the famous?" Justin grins. "Cause it's been fun but maybe we should agree to disagree."

"Absolutely. I think we more bantered about it, man. You know? I just do what I do."

Justin pours himself a cup in his travel mug. He takes a sip and it's motherfucking strong. He turns around and adds sugar. "That's all I do." Justin leans against the counter. "Fucking random night."

"Totally." AJ stands up. "I'm done. Ready to motor?"

It's a short drive to AJ's house. It looks empty. Justin pulls up in the driveway. AJ says, "We're not gonna do this again, right?"

Justin says, "Nothing personal, but yeah, no."

"It's clearly personal. But we're not really long-term people." AJ laughs. "But I love Sarah and you know, she wants me to think about things, but I've thought a lot. More than I want to. She's what I want. And it was really nice to hang out with you --"

"Fuck me into the mattress, hang out," Justin says. He bites his lip and smirks. "It was nice. But yeah, dude, fine, clear. Go sleep."

AJ says, "Cool." They bump fists and AJ saunters again, saunters back into his house. The lights don't come on until he gets in.

Finally alone. As Justin drives home, the night's clear and dark. He rolls down the window and turns off the radio. Alone with the wind and the night, he feels good. So AJ didn't ruin the night at all, really. Pretty much saved it, really. Which was very nice of AJ. Justin breathes in and out and thinks, not buggin'. Happy. Not a bad night off.

THE END.

Back to Stories