NOTES & DISCLAIMERS: Sequel to When The Stars Go Blue (http://suitableforframing.mediawood.net/bluestars.html). For Rhys, Lennie, Eddie and Violet. Because they asked after we begged. Thanks to Shana and Kelly. Title from Ryan Adams. For entertainment only. So made up.

RESCUE BLUES

Lance shouldn't have married Chloe but she was pregnant and he grew up knowing what the right thing to do was. He shouldn't have slept with her but he was lonely and she laughed all the time. She interviewed to be his assistant and he didn't hire her but he went out with her when he saw her again two weeks later. And she was so young, even younger than Justin and she never grew up. She came crying to him when Diana was seventeen months old and said she wanted out. He paid her a lot of money and she sees the girls two weeks a month and he pays her over and over again to stay in town so his daughters are never abandoned.

He was faithful to her all that time even though they only had sex eighteen times in four and a half years and now he's been divorced for eight months and he wonders if he'll ever have sex again. He got laid a lot before Chloe so maybe it all balances out. Maybe.

Another morning and he wakes up early enough to work out in the gym in the basement, watching CNN on the TV mounted above the rowing machine. Then he showers and then he wakes up Jamie and Diana. Jamie first and he brushes her hair and braids it into two pigtails. Jamie's four and so proud of herself, she ties the bows on the ends without any help. Then he pats her back and wakes up Diana and by then the nanny is making breakfast. Diana is only two but Lance read something about teaching babies ASL so they could communicate before they could articulate and Diana's hands flutter while she says, "Da" over and over again. Diana wants food and hugs.

He goes to work and makes money and people scream at him sometimes while Lance just smiles. He's consistently amazed that after all these years, people are still surprised that The One Who Couldn't Dance Well And Never Wrote A Song isn't the least bit stupid. And he's rich enough now, he sets his own hours and leaves at four or five and has dinner with his girls every day.

Joey moved back to New York City, Broadway and all that. They see each other every few months and talk nearly every day. Chris still lives in town and they take the girls to a park near Lance's house on a Saturday.

"Justin and JC, huh?" Chris swings Diana back and forth and he says it over her squeals.

Lance stares at Jamie on the slide. Up and down and she screams as she slips down each time. He says, "That's what JC says. He sounds happy for once, so, you know." Jamie waves to Lance and Lance waves back. "Whatever." He pauses. "Isn't the part where you start into the oh so witty remarks about how I should move on, JC is gone, and more of that verse chorus verse?"

Chris doesn't say anything for a long minute. Then he says, "I was kinda hoping you'd finally figured that stuff out. And when I say finally, I mean sometime in the last five years I've been saying it, you know?"

That night, Chris makes dinner for the four of them, the nanny's night off, but he would do it anyway. They eat and Chris makes faces at Jamie and she spits up her milk. Chris doesn't apologize and Lance doesn't mind wiping her face clean while she giggles.

He gets both of the girls in bed and sits next to Chris on the couch. Chris plays with the remotes until a basketball game pops up on the screen that covers half the wall in the living room.

Chris says, "I have a new song here, you know? Verse chorus verse, I have a new one for you. You need to get laid."

Lance says, "Well, yeah, whatever to that, too. I'm soooooo attractive to the average guy, aren't I? Hi, take me, take my two children."

Chris laughs. "Because no one wants a red-hot near billionaire boyfriend, do they? Fuckers."

Lance snorts and watches the game. Chris says, "Anyway, I got a guy for you. Someone you should consider."

Jamie is suddenly standing on the stairs, and she says, "What are you watching? Can I watch, too?"

Lance says, "No." He picks her up from the foot of stairs and carries her upstairs. He sings to her, and tonight for some reason it's This I Promise You. She falls asleep before the first chorus, her head lolling against his chest. He tucks her back in bed and she wakes up briefly. She says, "Good night again, Daddy," and he kisses her forehead.

He comes back downstairs and Chris says, "Do you always use our songs?"

Lance says, "I sing whatever comes into my head. Well, mostly. Not, like, Digital Getdown. Or Up Against The Wall. Or I Touch Myself. But no, whatever I think of." Lance sits back down.

Chris says, "Kay. Back to the guy for you. Cause it's been eight months. You're officially not rebound guy anymore. I have high hopes that you've finally pulled your head out of your ass. And this guy, he'd be good for you. He's got money, not as much as you, but enough that he doesn't need yours. He's funny. He likes kids. He's older."

Lance says, "Okay, is he ugly or something? Because so far I get that he has a great personality."

Chris says, "Not ugly. No JC or Justin, you know, but some have called him fine. And occasionally hot. And he's pretty great."

Lance says, "Okay. I'll bite. Who is it?"

Chris says, "Me. I think you should date me. And I'm slightly insulted, maybe more than slightly that you didn't think of me immediately. I know you've been floating around in your little cloud of oh woe is me JC left me, but, yeah, hello, Lance."

Lance laughs because what the fuck else is he gonna do? He laughs and then he looks at Chris, who isn't laughing. "Oh, God, Chris. We've known each other forever. I can't date you. I just can't."

"Are you gonna make me read a list to you? Because, see, I thought you might. I had anticipated this and I came prepared." Chris reaches into his pocket and pulls out a crumpled piece of paper. "Ahem. And okay, you know what? Before when I said all of that stuff about the guy who has money and is funny and likes kids and is older?"

"I do recall that, yes."

"Yeah, that was my list." Chris drops the paper on Lance's lap. "I sorta got ahead of myself there. But really, Lance. You should date me."

"Chris." Lance briefly considers pretending that he hears one of the girls crying, but he figures it wouldn't work and sighs. "Chris, I can't date you." Lance thinks he's been an idiot to not notice this, this thing. But he can't do this again, he doesn't have enough in him for Chris, he's pretty sure.

"Don't you think I'm hot? Don't you think I'm fine? I may be pushing forty, but you know I've got an ass that just won't quit."

"You think we should date just because you're gay and I'm pretty much gay myself?" On television, somebody makes a basket and there's screaming. "This isn't some retired boy band member dating network."

Chris scoots closer to him. "I think we should date because I've wanted to date you for fucking ever, since 1997 or some shit. And yeah, I'm funny, I'm older, and I like kids. Specifically, your kids. They're fucking great, Lance, even though Diana likes to throw up on my clothes."

"She's got a little problem with the --"

"With the projectile vomiting, yeah, I've noticed." Chris pauses and lets his fingers rest on Lance's knee. Lance hears yelling again on the TV but doesn't turn his head to look. "I think we could work. And fuck, if we don't, you can't tell me that we won't have fun trying."

Lance opens his mouth to say something, but he doesn't get anywhere because Chris pushes his head up and then they're kissing, slow and deep and Lance wraps his fingers around the hair at the base of Chris' neck and thinks that maybe they can try dating after all.

Chris pushes Lance so they're lying on the couch and Chris is above him, pressing down and kissing him and that's damned nice. Lance wraps his leg around Chris's leg and fuck, he hasn't made out with someone he really wanted in five or six years. Before Chloe, some guy, he thinks, but the guy was hot and for once, Lance wasn't comparing the body under his to JC's. At least five years ago. Chris breaks off the kiss and licks Lance's jaw and Lance shudders. He grips Chris's biceps and they're firm, which is also very nice. Chris is grinding his hips into Lance's. Lance hasn't been this hard in five years, either, his hand having long since lost a lot of its appeal.

Chris rests his weight on one hand and the other one is pushing up Lance's t-shirt, pressing against his stomach. Lance thinks, oh. And then, no.

"Chris, Chris, we gotta stop." Lance tries to sit up.

"Wait, I thought I had you convinced." Chris frowns.

"I'm convinced. Seriously. But I can't do this here. On the couch. My girls, Chris, they're right upstairs." Lance gets off the couch and pulls down his shirt.

Chris shakes his head and then nods. "Okay, point. Your bedroom?"

Lance laughs. "Look, why don't we schedule, like, an actual date and go out and then come back here and pick this up where we left off? And yes, in the bedroom. If you're still interested." Lance licks his lips and tugs his shirt again.

Chris says, "Since 1997, Bass. I think I'll still be interested after dinner in a week."

Lance grins, "I set my own schedule, Kirkpatrick. It doesn't have to be a week."

It's two days later. Dinner is good, but Lance owns the restaurant so it's unlikely they'd give him bad food. Lance is pretty sure he talks about the girls too much, because he's tired of talking about business. Chris doesn't say anything about it, though, just listens intently.

Chris pays, saying, "I'm the one who asked you, so. You get it next time."

Lance drives them to his house. He sneaks a quick look at Chris, one or two fine lines, mostly around his eyes, a few strands of gray in his beard and his hair but the rest. Chris still has those soulful eyes that look like forever. Lance shakes his head and remembers he's had enough of poetry.

He pulls into his underground parking garage and when they climb out of the car, Chris grabs his ass. "Easy there, old girl," Lance says.

Chris wraps his arms around Lance, his front to Lance's back, and carefully dips his tongue beneath the collar of Lance's shirt.

"Fucking Jesus, Chris." Lance shudders and thinks, we could do this right here. Towels in the cabinet and the concrete isn't that cold.

But then Chris pulls away and starts for the house. "You coming or what?"

Into the house and the minute the nanny leaves, Jamie flies into Lance's arms. "Hi, Chris," she says, resting her head on Lance's shoulder.

"Hey, kid." Chris ruffles her blonde hair. "When did you get to be so old?"

"While you were gone," she says solemnly.

Chris looks at his watch. "Cause it's pretty late. What are you, fifteen now?"

She giggles. "No."

"No?" Chris arches an eyebrow at Lance. "You want me to take you up to bed then?"

"Gimme a kiss," Lance says to her, and she does, then jumps down and climbs up Chris. Lance watches them walk upstairs, his daughter with her hands cupped around Chris's ear. There's a twinge in his chest that he thinks is regret, but he's not sure what it's for.

He follows them upstairs but stops to check on Diana before he goes across the hall into his own bedroom. He peeks into Jamie's room once and sees Chris messing with the dolls on Jamie's bed. Lance shuts his bedroom door, then opens it again, unsure of how this is supposed to happen. It's been too long since he brought somebody home. He rolls up his shirtsleeves and thinks, we have lube and condoms and we have to be quiet.

When Chris comes in, Lance says it to him. Chris rips at Lance's tie and says, "I know." He kisses Lance twice, hard, then stops and gestures at Lance's tie. "I can't tie one of those things and I can't untie one. Off with that!"

Lance laughs. They undress themselves then come back together, hands in each other's hair and against each other's skin. Chris was right, they're having fun, and Lance is laughing more than he has since before Chloe, even. Then they're on the bed and Chris touches Lance's dick and suddenly it's not funny anymore.

"Glasses," Lance murmurs.

"Yeah, Lance, if I take these off, I won't be able to see shit." Chris rubs his Lance's chest. "And I wanna see all of this. I suppose I could take them off though, if you want. I mean, I know you gotta have some wicked AV equipment around here, Bass."

Lance moves his hands down Chris' back. "We could just tape right over Diana's first steps."

They both sink against the mattress, just kissing. He's been out of the game for some time now, but Lance can still recognize a good kiss, and Chris is a great kisser. They're hard against each other but Chris takes his time, letting his tongue move on Lance's lips. "You want me to blow you?" Lance asks.

Chris shakes his head. He moves up and works his mouth against Lance's ear, wet and soft, and it's something that Lance has never liked before, but he likes it now. Chris sits up and Lance sits, too. "Who's gonna be where here?" Chris asks.

"What do you like?"

"Nah, dude, it's been so long since you got any action, we're gonna let you decide." Chris reaches over and picks a condom and a tube of lube off the nightstand, then plops them down between his feet and Lance's.

Lance hesitates, then picks up the condom and the lube. Chris leans over to kiss Lance again. "That's my boy."

Lance likes pillows, so there are maybe ten of them on the bed. He spreads a few out and Chris lies on them on his back. "Can you get your leg up?" Lance asks.

Chris grins. "I think I can handle that. I'm not on Medicare yet."

They kiss more while Lance slips on the condom and spreads the lube over Chris. "You're good at that."

"I'm talented," Lance says.

Chris grins again. "We'll see about that."

Lance slides in and oh, God, he feels like a fucking virgin because it's been so long. Chris is warm and soft and tight and Lance has to will himself not to come right there. Chris takes every thrust and keeps laughing and saying, "Is that all you got, Bass?"

Chris scrunches his face then and stops talking. He moans and moans, and Lance thinks about covering his mouth with something because what the fuck is he gonna do if Jamie gets out of bed and starts looking for him, but then he comes like a fucking explosion and stops thinking about the noise. Chris comes almost immediately after Lance and they sorta stick together when Lance bends down to kiss Chris again.

"You can't stay," Lance says like an apology.

"Dude, Jesus, gimme a minute to recover before you kick me out of bed, okay?" Chris slings his arm across his forehead.

Lance lies down next to Chris. "Sorry."

Lance wakes up alone and feels it so he doesn't call Chris until the afternoon. They go out almost every other day for a month and Lance thinks how easy it is to slip into a pattern, because everything with Chris is easy. A lot of times they just eat at home and put the girls to bed and then fuck. It's so easy. He doesn't let Chris stay over and Chris doesn't grumble about it.

He still thinks about JC every day. Like always. He remembers waking up with JC in hotel rooms and their houses and JC mumbling things that could have been couplets against Lance's skin. He remembers it and it's perfect, gone forever, and it hurts and that's about what Lance expects from life now.

He talks to Chris a lot. When Lance first started on the work that brought him to now, Chris invested ten percent of the seed money. Now Lance doesn't even need to ask banks for money but he still cuts Chris in for ten percent of the plans that aren't high-risk. Chris isn't as wealthy as Lance but he's got money to spare and then some, even with the complicated living trusts Chris has set up for his sisters and his mother. He calls Chris from the office and says, "There's something you might be interested in here, this, uh, thing. A great investment opportunity, just like all the ads promise."

Chris laughs and says, "I got your investment opportunity right here, Lance. A nice opening and also, a rising concern and I'm actually running out of sexual innuendos here. Fuck, I'm getting old. But, I am getting laid, so I won't complain." Lance laughs and leans back in his chair. Chris says, "Speaking of which, tonight is good for you?"

Lance says, "Yeah. Come by around seven, dress up, we'll go someplace nice, I'll pay."

Five hours later, Chris buzzes at the gate and Lance groans. "I fucking forgot to call him," he says as he waits at the door. Lance opens the door when he sees Chris walking up and says, "Hey, I forgot to call you. I suck."

Chris raises an eyebrow and looks at Lance's track pants and white t-shirt. Lance tugs at the shirt and sees there are a few spots of vomit by his stomach. Chris says, "Diana is sick?" His face twists in concern.

Lance nods and says, "It's not serious. I already took her to the doctor and he says she'll be fine. But she'll be miserable tonight and I need to give her these pills in a few hours." Lance could have the nanny stay and take care of it but he never does. When he remembers being sick, when he was a child, his mother was there for all of it and Lance intends to make sure his daughters remember the same.

Chris says, "Okay. So, why don't I stay?"

Lance says, "I guess. I'm just sitting around with Diana until she falls asleep and then staying up and waking her up at midnight and it won't be that entertaining."

Chris says, "Oooh. Well, with promises like that." Chris pushes past Lance and shucks off his suit jacket. He undoes his tie quickly and unbuttons the collar of his dress shirt. "I'm gonna entertain the non-sick daughter, that work for you?"

Lance nods again and can't think of a thing to say. Chris goes upstairs and Lance just follows him. Chris veers left to Jamie's room and Lance veers right to Diana's. She's just starting to fall asleep but she perks up a little when he comes in the room. Then she throws up again and misses the bucket Lance brought up last time. Lance sighs and wipes her mouth, gets her to sip some flat Coke, like his mother always had him do when he was nauseous. When she settles back onto the bed and snuggles her stuffed dog, Lance gets up again and goes to grab a towel and more water to clean the carpet. He has people to do this and they'll steam the rug but he's not going to spend the rest of the night smelling it. As he walks back from the bathroom he sees Chris sitting across from Jamie on the floor of Jamie's room, solemnly holding a hand of cards.

A half hour later, Diana falls asleep. Lance is nothing but tired. Puking and cleaning up and the carpet still smells a little, and Jamie whined in the waiting room and the whole way home while Diana whimpered. Lance never thought he'd be doing this, he'd envisioned his thirties with JC still, in some spacious house with big windows and Lance would work from home at things. JC would come up for air from writing and painting and everything and they would fuck in every room in the house. They'd go out every night or stay in and nothing would ever have to be planned. After JC and before Chloe, he thought he'd just be rich and picking up any cute boy that caught his eye to go back to a penthouse apartment and sometimes he wouldn't even ask their name before they had sex.

Instead it's puke and he's incredibly tired. He can't go out when he wants, his schedule is dictated by whatever bug Diana picked up in her playgroup and Lance would never ever change having the girls but right now, he wishes he could blink and have them both be eighteen and in college and the house all to himself. He thinks he's a lousy father and he gets up and goes to Jamie's room.

"Sevens," Jamie says and squints. "Have you got any sevens?"

Chris says, "I do not. Go fish, you card shark, you." Chris winks at Lance as he sits down.

"I'm not a shark," Jamie says with a little whine. She starts to pout as she reaches for the card.

Chris says, "You need lessons from an expert before that pout will work on either of us." Chris waves at Lance.

Jamie says, "An expert?"

Chris nods. "An expert. The best damn pouter in all of the known world. And your father and I could resist even him. So, yes, you need some expert training before that works."

Jamie says, "Who? Can I meet him?"

Chris laughs, "Justin Timberlake doesn't come round here, baby. Even he's scared of your dad."

Jamie says she's not scared and puts her cards down carefully and climbs into Lance's lap. "I'm not scared of my dad at all."

They play a few hands and then Jamie goes to bed. Lance sits on his bed and watches Chris pour glasses of water for both of them in Lance's bathroom. "You can head out now, if you want," Lance says.

Chris sighs. "Well. Do you want me to?"

Lance thinks, no. Or maybe, yes. He says, "Whatever you want."

Chris sighs. "I want to stay here. All fucking night. How does that work for you?"

"I'm not gonna be up for much after I give her her pills." Lance looks down at his shirt and the vomit stains on the stomach.

"I didn't mean that, I meant, hey, look at me. Your maybe even boyfriend over here. Would like to sleep next to you for once after you've had a shitty day." Chris scowls and hands Lance his glass of water.

Lance says, "Oh." He thinks, no, please, don't. But he says, "Okay."

Lance sleeps through the alarm and he knows Chris will give Diana her pills at midnight. When he wakes up in the morning, Chris is still asleep and he only makes a little noise as Lance gets out of bed.

He checks on the girls. Jamie's sleeping with her thumb in her mouth and Lance thinks it's time to try new tactics to get her to quit sucking her thumb because everything that he's read in books hasn't worked. He shuts her door quietly then goes into Diana's room. She's sleeping, too, which is good. Lance reaches his fingers out and runs them across her forehead. The fever's gone and her color seems normal, which is even better. He watches her breathe, then carefully climbs down the stairs.

Lance leaves a note in the kitchen for Chris that he hasn't left yet, then takes his cell phone and slips out of the house. The really good lawn chairs are in the shed and he takes one out and sits in the backyard, then dials Joey's number.

"What's up, man?"

There's background noise, children squealing, and Lance thinks that's what it must sound like when people call him. "I'm working the Fatone family rodeo. Actually, I'm halfway out the door. Rehearsal and all that. I can talk, though."

"When's your new play open?"

"Next month." Joey softly says, "Bye, baby," and then, louder, "You and Chris should come out. I can get you guys tickets."

Lance leans back in his chair and studies Diana's window. "I don't know, Joey. I'd have to find somebody to watch the girls."

"Hello, you have a nanny. I believe you pay her to watch your girls, or am I wrong?"

"Yeah, okay. I'll think about it." Lance pauses. "He stayed over last night."

Joey laughs. "Chris stayed over? Good for you guys, man."

"It was because Diana was sick." Lance launches into the whole thing, about the cancelled date and the pills and that Chris called Lance his boyfriend.

When he finished, Joey asks, "Is Dee okay?"

Lance smiles a little because he should have known. "Yeah, Joey, she's fine."

"Good. Tell her Uncle Joe loves her." Joey clears his throat. "This is the part of the conversation where I ask you what's wrong and you don't tell me and then I guess what it is and give you a nice piece of advice."

"Are we there already?"

"Not yet, but we're gonna be because I'm operating on a schedule here. So what we're gonna do is skip the parts where I ask and you lie, and get straight to the good stuff."

Lance looks away from Diana's window and finds Jamie's. "Okay."

"You're fucked up over Justin and JC." Joey says it flatly, like it's something he's thought for a long time. "You don't know how to let shit go, man. You're probably still mad at Lou."

"Lou --"

"Okay, Lou was a bad example. The point, though, man, is that you got married, had kids, and still never moved on. You're fucked up and you're gonna fuck up your business with Chris if you're not careful." Joey pauses. "I got another call, dude. Seriously, kiss the girls for me. I'll talk to you later."

Lance folds up his phone and leaves the chair in the yard. When he gets back into the house, he finds the nanny in the kitchen making breakfast. Chris is gone.

He calls Chris in the evening, they make plans. He's busy at work and Jamie decides she hates art class which requires three separate conferences at school before Jamie says that the teacher made remarks about gays that Jamie didn't like. Lance sits through meetings and raises his voice at teachers and principals and it wears him out. It's two weeks before Lance realizes that they always end up at Chris's house at the end of the night. Even the nights when they eat in at Lance's. Lance never leaves the girls alone over-night even if the nanny is there so he drives home and it's not even a topic of discussion.

He doesn't like it. It's a lonely drive and Lance is tired of having lonely being a constant adjective in his life. He thinks about what Joey said as he drives home the night he realizes he's been doing this a lot. He wonders if this is Chris's way of subtly dumping him. He wouldn't really be surprised if Chris had finally figured out Lance isn't much of a catch.

Chloe is supposed to have the kids over the weekend, and it's supposed to be twice a month but it's almost always only once a month. Things come up, she says. But it's Thursday and Chloe always manages to call by Wednesday if she's going to flake on Saturday so Lance calls Chris. "Chloe has the girls this weekend," he says casually, "so if you wanted, you could come by Saturday and stay and I'll make brunch on Sunday." Maybe talk, he thinks, but doesn't say it.

"I have plans already," Chris says. Something with his sister, he's going out of town.

"Okay," Lance says. He's being dumped, he just knows it. He says, "When you get back, can we, uh, have dinner and talk?"

"Of course. And maybe even fuck until you can't walk if you're up for it." Chris laughs and hangs up.

Lance spends Saturday at the house, thinks about taking up gardening, discards that idea, watches TV and falls asleep at eight like an old man. He is an old man, old at thirty-two, abandoned and dumped and about to be dumped. He probably deserves it.

Chloe calls at noon on Sunday, even though she was supposed to have girls until seven, but something's come up. Lance picks them up and takes them to the park. He's watching Jamie and Dee in the sandbox and trying to decide if he trusts the five-year-old boy who's sitting with them so he doesn't notice Justin until Justin says, "Hi."

Lance turns slightly and doesn't smile. "What," he says flatly, not even a question.

Justin says, "Those two are Jamie and Dee, right?"

"Diana," Lance says, biting out the words. "Jamie and Diana are over there, yes."

"JC calls her Dee," Justin says and shrugs. "Sorry."

"It's a family nickname," Lance says, crossing his arms over his chest. "It's what people who know her call her. People who know what she looks like without asking."

Justin says "sorry," again in his small, hurt voice and Lance feels like a shit so he says, "It's fine. I'm sorry I snapped. What do you want?"

Justin steps in front of him so Lance has to look at him and says, "I wanted to find you and talk to you and JC said you guys come to the park a lot on the weekend."

He doesn't get any further than that because Jamie walks over, pulling Diana by the hand. Diana lets go of Jamie and clings to Lance's calf with one hand and with the other makes the sign for father. She says, "Daddy," once and then holds up her arms to be picked up. Lance bends down and lifts her up and she buries her face in his shoulder. Her cheek is still a little sticky from the ice cream they had when they got there and Lance sighs.

Jamie says, "Hello," to Justin but doesn't hold out her hand because he's a stranger and she's been taught better.

Justin smiles and it's the full-on Timberlake shine. Lance sighs again and says, "Jamie, this is Justin." Duly introduced, she puts out her hand and Justin squats down and shakes her hand gently.

Jamie says, "Show me how to pout right," and grins.

Justin smiles wider and says, "You really shouldn't listen to Chris about these things."

Diana looks up and says, "Chris. I like Chris."

Justin looks up for a second and then back at Jamie. "Chris is cool."

Jamie says, "Show me how to pout."

Lance looks away and thinks about covering Diana's ears. He gives Jamie about two minutes before she succumbs to the Timberlake charm and at least then he'd have one daughter left who loved him best. Justin sits down on the ground and tells Jamie to pout. Then he tells her to put her head down a little and look up while blinking a little. "Bat your eyelashes," he says, demonstrating. He tells her to hunch over a little and make sure not to whine. "Just talk real slow and sad."

Jamie demonstrates and it's pitch perfect. Justin says, "Perfect."

The nanny finally shows up and Lance hands over Diana, who's already fallen asleep. He tells Jamie to go with the nanny and tells the nanny he'll be home soon. She says, "dinner for four," glancing over at Justin.

Lance says, "Three."

Justin waves good-bye to the girls and Jamie waves back. Lance says, "You found me, what do you want?"

Justin looks down and then back at Lance. "I came here to apologize."

Lance feels his hands form into fists. He takes a deep breath and says, "Apology accepted. Now go home and tell JC you've done it and I'm fine."

Justin says, "Okay, except he doesn't know I'm here, he didn't send me, and you didn't really accept my apology."

Lance sighs. "So what?"

"This matters to me," Justin says seriously.

Lance says, "Well. I hadn't noticed that." He sits down on the bench. Justin stays standing, his face soft.

"I know that." Justin sighs and his smile is long gone. "But I'm trying here. I'm here to apologize for everything. At least start at it."

Lance waves his hand. "Go ahead."

"Okay," Justin says. He closes his eyes and opens them again. "I'm sorry about the thing with JC. That you two broke up over it and stuff."

"We didn't break up because of you," Lance says. He closes his eyes. "He always wanted you more, anyway."

Justin inhales sharply. "That's not true."

Lance opens his eyes and frowns. "You're the fucking expert."

"Look, I know JC and I know you. I was there." Justin sits down next to Lance and grabs his hand. Lance shakes his hand off.

"I remember. You were fucking my boyfriend, it's kind of hard to forget." Lance sighs. "Justin, this is really all -- it was years ago. He's yours now, you're happy, apology accepted."

Justin snorts. "Look, you really haven't. I want you to understand that I was just. Look, I wanted JC, I went after him because he was yours, you know? It was an immature and cruel thing to do and I'm sorry. I am. I want," Justin pauses. "I wish I could say something to make you feel better."

Lance says, "Hmm. Right now? Try 'I'm leaving and shutting up.' "

Justin sits quietly. "What you think, about JC, it's not true. He loves you. I've been an ass to you and to everyone for years and I want to make it up to you."

"And I'm last on your list?" Lance looks at the park and doesn't look at Justin.

"You're second." Justin shifts in his seat and Lance keeps looking away.

"JC took all this time?"

"He did," Justin laughs. "I mean, you know, all that time not talking at all."

 Lance laughs. "Right, you fuck my boyfriend and I'm the one you keep in contact with. You're the best, Justin."

Justin sighs. "Don't you want to invite me to dinner? You have cute kids."

"Hmmm." Lance opens his eyes and looks at Justin. He looks sad. Lance could give a fuck. "They are cute, and no. I don't want you at my dinner table."

"Lance. Please."

"Fine. And then you'll leave and stop bringing this shit up?" Lance sighs and stands up.

Justin says, "Wait a sec." He pulls out his phone, dials a number and then says, "Hey, it's me. Guess where I am?" Justin pauses and says, "That's not a very good guess."

Lance rubs his forehead. Justin says into the phone, "I'm in Orlando. I'm about to go to dinner at Lance's. But first, this is gonna sound kind of rude, but. Me or Lance, who did you love more?"

Lance almost snarls and Justin holds up his hand. He nods and says, "Yes, he's right here. Yes, I'm being rude." He hands the phone to Lance and says, "JC wants to talk to you."

Lance takes the phone and says, "How are you, JC?"

JC laughs and says, "I'm fine." There's a pause that seems longer than forever. JC says, "You don't think I loved Justin more, do you?"

"JC, I don't want to talk about this." Lance almost hangs up on him.

"You never do," JC says. "But, Lance. I always loved you more." JC sounds serious and he says it slowly like he thinks Lance should be writing it down.

"You're with him. You broke up with me." Lance looks over and Justin has walked to the sandbox, his back turned on Lance. A small kindness, after all.

JC says, "I broke up with you because. You know this. I would have done it again. I would have kept hurting you. And I'm with him," JC pauses. "I got over us. I didn't get over you, I got over us. And I fell in love again and Devlin died, and I got over that. Not over him, over that. And Justin, he came here. He wasn't over anything. I love him, I have loved him always but. I loved you more back then. I want you to be happy now, it's all over but you shouldn't think I loved him more." It's a long speech for JC who never talks at length about things like this.

Lance blinks. "Okay. Point made. Can I hang up now or do you want to talk to him?"

JC says, "I want you to be happy, and you should try to forgive him." He hangs up. Lance closes the phone, walks over to Justin and hands him the phone.

Lance says, "Come to the damn house."

At dinner, Justin charms Jamie and Diana and they both cling to him when he leaves. Lance thinks, typical and then, fucking Timberlake. He puts the girls to bed and he's staring at the ceiling before he thinks he wants to cry. He doesn't. He picks up the phone and starts to dial Chris's number but he puts the phone down and tries to sleep.

He dreams about dumb stuff, about old shows, about the way things used to be. He has one dream where he's fucking JC all slow and he closes his eyes when he comes. After he opens them, he sees that he wasn't fucking JC at all, but Chris. Lance wakes with a start, hard against his leg. He masturbates quickly and doesn't go back to sleep.

He takes a shower and stays under the spray longer than he should. He's clean but he's thinking and he knows he shouldn't waste water but it's not like he can't afford a high water bill next month. Joey and Justin knew what was wrong without Lance ever having said it to them. If Lance is that transparent, Chris must know, too, and Lance thinks that's the most humiliating thing.

Jamie knocks softly on the bathroom door and walks in before Lance says she can. "Phone, Daddy."

"Honey, I'm in the shower. Can you take a message? Where's Emmaline?" Lance thought the nanny would have been at the house by now.

"She's with Diana. I know how to answer the phone, you showed me." She presses her small hand against the frosted glass door. "It's Chris."

Lance turns off the water and opens the door a crack, enough that he can grab the phone and keep from totally flashing his daughter. "Go find Emmaline. I'll be out soon." He hears the bathroom door open and close, and then speaks into the phone. "Hi."

"Hey, hey. I'm back. And you're naked."

Lance grins a little and thinks, maybe this won't be so bad. "That I am."

"I think things need to happen." Chris says it very fast and then pauses. "Really, one thing. Or, okay, two. But yeah, what needs to happen is that we need to talk about stuff. About JC and about us."

Lance leans against the shower wall. It's a little filmy, a little cold, and so is he. "Is that something that needs to happen immediately? Because you're right. And we should have talked about it sooner."

"Well, I'll give you enough time to put on some pants. I'm on my way over now." He pauses again, then says, "And I think we can split the difference on this whole 'should have talked' thing. Neither one of us will believe the other, but it's as good a place to start as any. I'll see you in a minute."

Lance turns off the phone and sorta tosses it out the shower door. It slides across the tile, smacks against the sink, and spins a little before it stops in the center of the floor. Lance leaves it there and goes to get dressed.

He picks his clothes out carefully. What's about to happen with Chris is a big deal and he's afraid of what they might say and what they might not. He feels stupid that he's afraid, that he's nervous. He's known Chris for, really, most of his life and if he can't feel comfortable with someone like that, how is he ever supposed to feel comfortable? But then Lance takes a deep breath and reminds himself that he knows that isn't the way it works.

He throws on his favorite pair of jeans, sort of faded but definitely tight. He picks a t-shirt that's sorta tight, too, nice and firm across the shoulders, and throws a soft sweater on over that. It's the sweater that Chris bought him as a divorce present and he'd forgotten that until he put it on.

Downstairs and Chris is already there, messing around with the nanny and the kids. He smiles a little when Lance enters the room. Lance thinks maybe it's a good sign and then tells himself to just stop fucking thinking about this and just do it.

They go outside. It's a pretty day, warm breeze and all of that, but then, most of the days are pretty here. Idyllic weather like out of a dream and then Chris sighs and they both sit on the good lawn furniture. "How was your weekend?"

"Fine." Lance looks at the ground, then back up at Chris. "How about you?"

"It's always fun, you know, it's always nice to see my family." He squints in the sun and fishes through his pockets for his sunglasses.

"I don't really know what I'm supposed to say here, except that I saw Justin this weekend. He found me in the park and I let him play with my children and eat dinner at my table." Lance exhales. "I talked to JC on the phone for a little, too."

Chris slips on his sunglasses and fishes through his pockets again. He pulls out a pen and begins to roll it around between his fingers. "Okay."

"It was good. I mean, it sucked, but it was, you know, you wanna talk about discussions that are long overdue." Lance snickers a little. "It was as, I don't know, weird, whatever, as you'd imagine."

"What'd you talk about?"

"What you'd imagine." Chris raises his eyebrows and Lance sighs. "You want me to elaborate?"

"Please."

"I'd really rather not go over it again. I mean, it ended okay, but I just don't have it in me. The short version is that. Fuck." Lance looks over his shoulder like he always does when he curses, checking for the girls. "I never got over JC and what happened with all of that. And yeah, I probably fucked things up with us because of that." The girls are still inside and Lance decides he can curse all he wants. "I really fucking wish, just, I really fucking want to make this work with you."

Lance thinks for a second that Chris is gonna reach out and take his hand, but he doesn't. He keeps playing with the pen. Finally he says, "I want to make this work with you, too. But I have conditions. They're not really conditions, except for the part where that's exactly what they are. Because I'm too fucking old to be dicking around with you here."

"I know. I mean, I understand that."

"You're over this JC business? It's not gonna come back and bite us in the ass in a couple of weeks or months or years or whatever?"

"I'm over it. Or, you know, getting there." Lance leans forward and brushes his lips against Chris's. "I really, really. Really. Really want to make this work with you."

Chris starts to say something and Lance holds his breath. But Chris only says, "Let's go upstairs."

After Chris makes good on his threat on fucking Lance until he can barely walk, he tells Lance his conditions. Except Lance was expecting something more concrete than "no putting your head back up your ass and moping for ten years, and you gotta let me stay over." Lance can handle that, he's sure. He's very sure.

He worries a lot and tries to stop himself. He worries Chris will dump him and the girls love him so much already. They don't even blink when he's there in the morning and he thinks if they were older, they would say "Finally." Instead they just grin and play with Chris like always.

He worries Chris will dump him and Lance thinks he's in love with Chris and he would be miserable all over again. Really miserable. He just closes his eyes and says, "Stop it."

Chris is in his office, his feet up on Lance's desk. Lance says, "Hey, put your feet down. The cleaning staff have to deal with the scuff marks from your boots, you know?"

Chris laughs. "Well, you know, just making myself comfortable in my boyfriend's office." He puts his feet down and stands up. "Let's go, man, come on. You set your damn schedule."

Lance smiles and puts his pen down carefully. "Okay, okay."

They're driving to a restaurant Chris likes, one Lance doesn't own. Lance looks out the window and says, "Do you still have your motorcycle?"

Chris laughs. "You're the only thing I ride like that now, baby. No, I still have it. But, not so much with the riding now."

Lance looks over at Chris and says, "Because of Justin, or?"

"Yeah." Chris snorts. "No, it has nothing to do with Justin. It has to do with my fucked up knees and finding some other kinds of thrills. You're the one who let that shit fuck you up. I'm too damn old for that drama. I was always too old."

Lance sighs. "Not anymore, I swear." And it's funny because Chris will be forty this year and Lance doesn't understand how it happened, but Lance's thirty-two feels older than Chris's forty in the weight on his shoulders but not in any kind of wisdom. He had hoped he'd get smarter as he grew up but he's just stayed as stupid as he was the day he walked in on Justin and JC.

He says, "I love you, you know."

Chris jerks the steering wheel and Lance braces himself against the door. The car straightens out and Chris pulls over to the side of the road. "Uh," Lance says, "are you okay?"

Chris says, "I didn't know that. That thing you said."

"That I love you? Should I say that in the car or are you gonna flip us over into a ditch?" Lance almost laughs.

"No, we're safe. Hands off the steering wheel." Chris turns to Lance and smiles. "Fuck, I didn't know you had that in you. You mean it?"

"Completely. I love you. A lot." Lance smiles because he does. He means it, and it feels nice. Completely nice.

Chris says, "Good. That's really good. Because I've been in love with you, you know --"

"Since 1997, I remember." Lance laughs. It's just funny, that they're talking like this and they're not even touching.

"No, not since 1997. I've wanted to fuck you since 1997. I've loved you since two years ago." Chris is still smiling so Lance still feels okay.

"What did I do two years ago?"

"You didn't. It was just a moment. Dee was a month old, and she'd just peed all over you and you were laughing and you were out in the sunshine and you know. It was just a thing. It was just a thing and now you love me. That's pretty fucking great. This is gonna be great, Bass, seriously. You and me, we're gonna be great." Chris reaches over and grabs Lance's hand.

Lance says, "Yeah." And then, "I really love you," and then they're kissing and they never do make it to dinner.

THE END.

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