NOTES AND DISCLAIMERS: All made up. Chris's CD has songs by Liz Phair, Ron Sexsmith and Jude, respectively. The song from the Christmas Party is Tomorrow, Wendy by Andy Prieboy, performed by Concrete Blonde. Thanks to Kel, Katie and Younger.

Justin makes a long story short and he tells his mom and Trace everything in a few sentences. He tells his mom when she picks him up at the airport and he tells Trace when he gets to the house. They have questions, and don't want the short version at all.

*

Trace says, "Stupid mix cd? Chris not much for an actual gift this year?"

It wasn't actually stupid at all. Chris picked out all these songs, artists Justin's just heard of and never bothered to check out, and every single song is about spoiled evil famous people and how everyone resents them and hates them. Some variation on that theme. The first one is by a woman and she sings about someone named Johnny getting out of the business or she will have to roll him up in plastic, toss him up and pump him full of lead. The next song has a line about child stars: "they loved somebody but it wasn't you." Justin's favorite song from the CD is the one with the line "you've been fucking for fame since you were sixteen, everybody knows." Justin listened to the CD a lot for a week after he got it. And every time, he looked at the cover where Chris had written in big block letters: "these songs aren't about you at all, and anyone who says otherwise can bite my fat white ass."

All of which Justin tells Trace, and notes that it's not that easy getting a gift for the boys who have everything. It's not like Trace didn't just design him a really cool jacket.

*

His mom says, "Chris made Lance deliver it? And that was awkward?"

Which, of course, it was. Of course Chris made Lance deliver it, because Chris is weird about that sort of thing. Even if it's been years, Chris always has to play matchmaker for his exes, and Justin is not just an ex, but best friend, so he gets it from both ends. Chris had decided in his twisted little mind that now that Lance was available and Justin most certainly was also, they would be good together. Even if they hadn't proved to be in the past. Justin was in New York for promo things again. More endless promo and interviews.

Lance came to New York, showed up, called first, of course, but he rolled his eyes as Justin waved him into the hotel room and he just stood, a few feet from the door, in the middle of the room. "Chris gave me your Christmas gift to give to you," Lance said, after hello.

Justin smiled and held out his hands. Lance sighed and dug into his backpack, pulling out a box wrapped in giraffe paper. Justin sat down on the bed and shook it a few times until Lance said, "God, just open it, okay?"

He doesn't tell his mother, because it's silly and also, he's trying not to tell every little thing that happened. Justin smirked and started ripping right where two giraffes were nuzzling. He was careful not to rip any of the giraffes' legs. It was a little silly and superstitious, like the way one of Justin's friends from Memphis would never say "thirteen" and always said "eleven plus two" instead. But Justin didn't want any more bad karma for his foot.

Justin laughed when he saw the cover of the CD and started reading the track list to Lance. Lance interrupted him again and said, "I know. I heard all the songs when Chris was making it. You know, he was a little batty about the whole thing."

"So you don't want to hear it again?" Justin got up and looked for his laptop. He mostly used it to play CDs anyway. "You can even sit down."

Lance sighed and sat in a chair by the table. He looked out the window. "He was being a real dork about the whole thing. You know? He all cornered me at that thing out in Las Vegas and said I had to come by his place or something and I had to deliver this thing to you and no, I couldn't just give it to you when we all saw each other in New York, no, nope. It had to be right before Christmas. You know, now."

They saw each other in London, but there they just went out, came back, had sex and Lance left early in the morning, came home. Lance had just broken up with the jerk, and that made Justin happy which was probably pretty offensive to Lance. Since then, since Lance has been footloose and fancy free and single and not in Russia, they've only seen each other with the other guys around or people. So it was awkward. Like the entirety of their non-relationship, like every time one of them pushed their friendship into other territory.

And the annoying part of his mom's question is that she knows that, she doesn't need clarification. It's been since Justin was sixteen, really, and she's seen it, heard him talk about it. Even when there was Chris and Britney at different times. Maybe they were in love, maybe not, and for five years it's been push and pull and sometimes fine and every once in a while really great and every once in a while absolute torture. Which she knows. She knows that first Justin was with Chris and then Britney and in between, before and after there was Lance and weirdness. And she knows how everything went to hell during the last tour after being one of the best times of all. It was really, really good except there was so much crap from all the other times. Then it was really, really bad. She's heard him talk about it, over and over again. She asks if it was awkward like she's trying to get him to confirm it and he knows she's not that taken with the idea of him and Lance together.

So they listened to the CD in Justin's hotel room. Lance didn't say anything and neither did Justin. Justin sang along with a few songs, he could get a few choruses after the first listen, and he ignored Lance. Without really ignoring him, because he knew every twitch Lance made.

*

Trace says, "Why did you ask him to go with you to that party?"

He wanted Lance to stay. When the CD was over, he said, "What were your plans for tonight? I, uh, I have this party to go to and it would be more fun with you. If you want."

Not that he was sure of that. But it was worth a try. He doesn't tell Trace because Trace, like his mom, is not the biggest Lance fan. His mother just worries, and Trace thinks Lance is a bit of a dork. Not good enough for Justin? Not hot like Janet, or something. Though how exactly Trace can judge relative hotness of Lance vs. Janet when he's so insistently straight that he sometimes says he doesn't even think Justin is that hot, Justin doesn't really understand that.

*

His mother asks him how the party was. Justin sighs. It was a sort of anti-Christmas party, really. There was no tree or mistletoe. The loft was hung with black tinsel and the music was all these songs that were almost blasphemous. Justin had to go, some very important person from his PR firm was throwing it with her performance artist husband. When Justin and Lance came in, the music they heard was "don't count on any second coming, God got his ass kicked the last time he came down here slumming." Justin winced. Lance rolled his eyes and muttered something like "So many things to hate about New York City. Thank god there's cute boys."

*

Justin's mother pats his shoulder and says she's glad he came home for Christmas and can have a real nice one, not like that awful party. Except it wasn't really that bad, once Justin got past the theme. He smiled at the right people and shook hands and made dumb jokes. He looked over once or twice and saw Lance in a corner doing the same thing. He looked over again after an hour and Lance was smoking, taking a long drag on a cigarette.

*

His mother says, "A cigarette, Justin?"

Justin rolls his eyes. Just a cigarette, not pot, not anything illegal. Lance smokes when he's out. And it's not like Justin's mother doesn't know that they all occasionally smoke pot. Well, Chris mostly, but the rest of them all have.

*

Trace says, "The party sucked?"

It wasn't where Justin wanted to be. He felt like he'd done his time and something about the way the smoke curled around Lance's face made Justin's stomach clench. He walked over to Lance. "You ready to go?"

Lance smirked. He leaned over and whispered in Justin's ear, "Praise Jesus, let's get out of here."

It was like old times, a conspiratorial glance, Lance bumping against Justin's shoulder without even meeting his eyes. They had a plan. Mostly the plan was to make polite goodbyes and go somewhere else. They got the first part done and went to get their coats, downstairs in a small coatroom.

*

His mother says, "You had sex with him? In a coat room?" Justin nods. He's not going into more detail.

*

Trace says, "You go from let's get our coats to knockin' boots? How do you do that?"

There's always been attraction. That's the part that fucked up their friendship, over and over again. It's not like how it was with Chris, where they actually acted on it and went out, then crashed and burned and were fast friends. With Lance, it seems to Justin like it got bad when he started going out with Britney. So for years nothing happened except for the ten times something did happen because he'd had some fight with Brit and stormed off or hung up. And every time screwed up their friendship all over again until things were fixed and then they weren't fixed. So when they were both single, there was all this crap in the past and everything went bad. He's been avoiding Lance in a way ever since, except for the time they slept together in London and Justin chalked that up to how much he really missed Lance. He didn't know how Lance explained it.

*

Trace says he still doesn't understand how they get from getting their coats to getting busy.

So they got their coats and Lance leaned against the far wall and said, "You look good tonight."

Justin laughed and leaned against the door, closing it. He said, "Now there's a line I haven't heard before."

Lance smirked. "But it's true." He rubbed his face. "You know, you get in the habit of sarcasm and then you try to be sincere and no one buys it."

Justin tugged at his necklace and stretched his neck. Because he was turned on, had been since Lance had shown up in his stupid tight jeans and pretty blue shirt pulling across his shoulders. So he stretched his neck because he knew what Lance liked.

Lance said, "You're being a tease."

"Are you being sincere now, I can't tell --" and by then Lance had walked three steps and he was kissing Justin.

*

Trace says, "Fine, I get it, man, no more details."

So they kissed, because as soon as Lance leaned in, Justin grabbed Lance's waist and pulled him closer. So they were kissing and grinding against each other against the door. Justin pushed him away and muttered, "Fucking doorknob in my back, man. Go that way."

They cleaned up using someone's scarf. Lance helped Justin get up and get dressed. Then Lance wiped his hands on the end of the scarf and made a face. He threw the scarf in the trashcan in the corner.

*

His mother says, "But you fought?" They did. They always do. The afterglow lasted to the car, bodyguard up front and the two of them in the backseat. Justin started playing with Lance's shirt, and he said, "So, that was fun."

"Sure," Lance said, ruffling Justin's hair. "Hey, did you mean, you said, um, in London, you said some of those songs on your album were about me."

Justin said, "Well, about half. I was really upset about Brit, you know. It was, like, double whammy."

"Which half?"

Justin shrugged. He didn't want to think about it now that things were looking good again. He said, "The better ones."

Lance laughed. Justin sat up and said, "You know, you've never even said if you like it."

Lance laughed again. "It's great, it's fine."

"Just fine?"

"I said great, too. God, do you need me to feed your ego?"

Justin scooted over to his side of the seat. "I do not. But since, as you know, some of it is about you, it would be nice to hear your honest opinion and what you really thought, not some blow off shit."

"It's not." Lance rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. "I haven't really listened to it. Okay?"

"You haven't even listened to it?" Justin screeched, he knew it.

"Well, no. Why should I? I don't want to hear your side of the big break-up, you know? I already know it. What's the point?"

"Oh, right, there's no point at all. It's not like it's not my album that I worked on and I wanted you to hear and I'm very nervous about." Justin leaned back and threw up his hands.

"Why are you still nervous about it? It's fucking platinum, Justin, what's there to be nervous about anymore?"

"Just, just shut the fuck up. Nice to know you fucking care."

"Yeah, fuck you, too."

*

Trace says, "But you made up?" Justin nods.

They got out without saying a word and Lance followed Justin up to his floor. Justin turned around and got ready to tell Lance there was no way Lance was coming into his room. Lance didn't even look up; he just pulled out a card key and went into the room two doors down.

Justin went back to his room and listened to his CD from Chris. He paced around his room and threw his balled up socks against the wall. Then he flopped down on the bed and looked at the ceiling. He counted to ten.

He walked down the hall and knocked on Lance's door. Lance just glared at him after he opened the door. Justin said, "I thought. Okay, I could tell you which songs were about Brit and you could listen to those. And tell me what you thought. Because I really care about your opinion."

Lance almost smiled. "Okay, god, come in."

Justin sat on Lance's bed. The room didn't look very occupied, even less so than Lance's rooms usually did. Justin sighed. "You really want to know?"

Lance shook his head. "I lied, Justin."

"Seriously?"

"Yes. I listened to all the demos you sent, and the album and before it came out, I even downloaded shit from the Internet. Are you satisfied? I liked it that much." Lance crossed his arms but he was smiling.

"You really liked it?"

"Yes. And I way got the better songs." Now Lance was smirking.

*

His mom says, "And you think this will last, Justin?" Justin is sure, he tells her what happened, or some of it.

After Lance admitted he liked the album, that he'd listened to it, Justin said, "We could make this work."

Lance murmured, "Good." He was already grinding against Justin. "Because the sex always works."

Justin said, "Seriously. I mean, I think we can do this. You and me. We don't work work, but we're good together. If that makes sense."

"Yes." Lance rolled off Justin. "Right, we need to actually talk talk, right?"

Justin nodded. He sighed. But they did talk for a long time. About making time and things that were important and they even said "love" once or twice. They'd never done that before.

*

Trace says, "So you feel good about this. You got to a stupid Christmas party and you have sex and now everything's fine? If it makes you happy, J, then, okay. It's good."

Justin says, "It's really good. Swear."

And it's Christmas day, a real and actual Christmas party with Bing Crosby on the stereo and a great gospel album he bought for his grandmother that she insists on playing. Real Christmas. All his family is there and Justin ducks out to the back porch and calls Lance. "Baby," he says.

And now, he thinks tomorrow. He'll see Lance again and again. This time it works out fine, he knows that.

THE END

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