NOTES & DISCLAIMER: Made up. Fictional. Thanks to Younger. Mary Lou Lord wrote the song Western Union Desperate which is quoted throughout. Thanks for inspiration and the usual brilliance to Shana.

WESTERN UNION DESPERATE

1. Kissed good-bye the summer sky Hollywood and Malibu tides. Through thick and thin you got a good friend in me.

"Joey, I'm here, I'm fine, I've got a place already and I need to give you my address, man, because I have an address here in Los Angeles --"

"Wait, wait, a sec, C, okay? Let me get a pen." JC runs his fingers over the edge of the plastic wall, then looks at the wall and rubs his fingers against his jeans. "Okay, I´m back, JC, tell me where you're living. How are things, man?"

"They're good. Good. I have a thing, I'm gonna maybe get a new agent, for here in LA and then, yeah, make some calls, auditions, man, it's great. The vibe here!" Smog, everywhere he sees smog. It's clearer in the movies. The smog is a sign that he's really getting somewhere.

"Good for you. Don't forget the little people, C, or the taller than you but still here in Orlando people, anyway."

"Never, Joey, never." Loveyouloveyou. Love you. "Here´s the address, it's not big but it's cheap and it's in West Hollywood." Numbers letters numbers.

*

"I was on --"

"There's a CD and it's --"

"I have a tape and --"

"Please wait over there."

*

2. Just give me a beer and give me a bed. Chase the demons out of my head. Play me a song and sing me to sleep.

"Joey, you'll never guess where I went last night, man, I went to the Roxy! Remember, remember when we were reading Rolling Stone and all those shows at the Roxy and last night, I went there."

"What band were you seeing? Shit, that sounds cool. The Roxy, man."

"Some local band. I don't, I didn't know who they were, but I walked in and then I took a turn and I was in this whole crush of people and I turned around to try and get to the bar and I almost walked into Michael Stipe!"

"Shit, no way! What did you do?"

"I stammered and I turned around again and went away because I couldn't think of a thing to say. He was smoking and he's only as tall as me, really. I thought he was taller."

"Wow. Rock stars. How was the show?"

"It was good, and I think I met someone. Maybe a friend." Brown hair and brown eyes and he smiled and they went back to his place and JC said, "condom, condom" and gave him his number afterward.

"Good, good, friends are good. And the Roxy, that rocks. Man, and Michael Stipe."

"I know, I know. I, I'm using this phone card my mom gave me, I should go."

*

"Remember, JC Chasez? We met in Orlando and --"

"Chrissie gave me your number and --"

"Let me give you my number, okay?"

"Okay, I'll wait for your call, then."

*

"You're too young."

"Have you thought about having your teeth fixed?"

"We need thin, not skinny."

"You're not a very good actor. Maybe take some classes?"

"Have you thought about modeling?"

*

"So, Joey, it's really funny, really. I go in and the guy said modeling, and he's, like, take off your shirt and I'm like, well. That's all and he's okay, okay, that's all. And he takes the pictures and he pays me, actually pays me so, that's good. And then two weeks later, there's my picture and it's on a flyer for some gay chat line! Do you believe it?"

"No way. Li'l Joshie Chasez of the Mickey Mouse Club and he wants to talk to you all dirty. Shit, aren't you pissed?"

"I guess I should be, but it's just so funny. I mean, me! On some flyer for a 900 number or something. I almost wish they were giving 'em out in Orlando." Joey laughs.

Love you. Loveyouloveyou, Joey.

"Okay, well, yeah, it is pretty funny. Dude, C, grab one or two and send 'em to me, I'll put 'em up on my refrigerator."

"I'll do that."

"Well, yeah. Hey, have you, have you met anyone out there? Anyone special?"

Anyone. "No, I haven't met anyone." Want you, love you. Even here.

"Well, I hope you do. I hope you meet someone good and then you could tell me all about -- about them." Them.

"If I met someone special, I would tell you all about him." Deep breath, loveloveyou.

"Right. And you should, man, you can tell me all about him. When that happens." Joey laughs, he sounds nervous. "I wanted you to know that."

*

Your honor, I went to dinner with him and I let him pay and we were walking around afterwards and he bought me a jacket but I didn't. And he does work for a big management firm. I did give him a blowjob, I did go down on him, but.

It's not like I'm not gay. I would have anyway.

He didn't even call.

3. Distant salutations and silly souvenirs can't help your twilight loneliness or brush away your tears.

"Joey, guess who I got a letter from? Do you remember Justin?"

"How could I forget? Isn't he, he's in --"

"Home, Memphis. He wrote me and it's all spelling bees and basketball and junior high school. He's a great kid. He said, he wrote, man, he wrote that I should come visit him in Memphis and he thinks he might move back to Orlando. He also said, he also wrote, sorry, that he knows LA can be tough and if it doesn't work out, it's okay. He's fourteen!"

"His show was cancelled, too, man, he's not so young, you know." Joey pauses. Quiet. Love you, love you. "Hey, JC, I got a job. Universal. Singing and costumes and it rocks."

"That's so great, Joey!" Nothing nothing nothing here. "I've been trying, but it's hard."

"You're so talented, dude. You sing and you dance and you can act."

"I'm not a very good actor. And nowadays, see, people are mostly interested in rock, in grunge or something."

"They're idiots. Someday, man, those guys, they'll be like, I turned down JC Chasez. And they'll say that out loud and then their boss will come in the room and fire them for being so stupid."

"You're too nice, man." Love you, wish you were here.

*

"First door to the left."

"Second door on the right."

"You put it over there, sir, not on that desk."

"Right now, we don't want that type of sound."

"Look, not right now."

*

Your Honor, all he said was come to the party and help me entertain. He didn't spell it out. And I didn't get paid. I put a lot of food in my bag, yes. He said I could have whatever I want. I'm trying to save money. And all I did was smile. And I maybe went down on a guy or two. They worked for Columbia Records.

If sleeping your way to the top is so bad, why isn't it any easier?

4. I'm western union desperate in a pay phone in the rain. And it's so insane, I'm Rimbaud and you're Verlaine.

"Let me see some ID, are you even twenty?"

"You can't come in here."

"Yes, he got your message, and, no, he's not in right now."

*

Your Honor, I did go to the bar but I didn't know it was, I didn't know they thought I was that. I took the drinks, I drank the drinks. I didn't do anything else. It was a nice bar, I'm only eighteen, I can't get in everywhere, you know?

I let that one guy blow me and I went down on another guy but it wasn't because of the drinks. I wanted to get laid. I'm lonely. And the one guy? He said he worked for Capitol Records.

I think he lied, Your Honor. I didn't really believe him.

*

"Joey? I think. I'm gonna come home."

"Home to Maryland or home to here? You can come here, JC, you can stay with me. There's a lot, there's things here."

"I know. I just. All my money's gone, really. Except for the part we put in the CDs and I can't touch. And I could stay, I guess, I could get a job at a movie theater, at somewhere. But."

"No, JC, fuck it. Come back here, come home. LA isn't the center of everything. And, man, they're idiots. You're so talented."

"I don't like what, people in LA, I don't think that's me." Love you, love you, love you. Joey, Joey, say it like a prayer.

"Yeah, of course. LA, you know, it's all fake. That's not you. You couldn't even fake fake."

Nothing but smog. "I want, I think I'd like to come to Orlando."

A click. "JC, you know, you need money? I just got paid and I could send you some. I could wire you money so you can come back here. I know, your parents, but."

Sigh. "I, I would pay you back. Because my mom just sent me some money last month, I can't ask -- they're not rich, I only have a little now and --"

"You got it. I can, tomorrow, I'll wire you a hundred bucks. Tell me where. And don't worry about it, man. You come back here."

"Joey. Joey, thank you."

"Not a problem. Not at all. Come back to Orlando, and you just watch. Things'll be fine."

5. I got my old backpack and a sunburnt thumb. I hope my compass is tried and true 'cause when I need a friend it's still you.
 

"Joey! You're home now."

"JC, man, where are you? Are you at the airport? I'll come pick you up."

"I didn't buy a plane ticket."

"Are you, did you get the money? Are you still in LA?"

"No, no. I got the money. I bought a bus ticket. It's cheaper. I don't have any, it's okay if it takes me a little while."

"Okay." Joey laughs. "Tell me when you get in. And, hey, you got my address now?" Written on his hand, JC takes out his sharpie and writes over it every morning. When he washes his hands, it doesn't fade.

"I have your address. I, my ticket's in my bag, next week. I'll get into Orlando next week." Love you. Every morning he saves the Joey Fatone for last. He thinks of Joey's eyes when he inks the curve in the J and he smiles when he inks the last E. He doesn't need the name, but he writes it every morning. He thinks, love you love you.

"Okay, good, good. I'm glad you're coming back. Call me the day before you get in and tell me when you're getting in. I'll pick you up at the bus station."

*

"I won't fly. And cars, man, cars get in accidents. Big ol' bus like this, they can take hits. I don't like to take risks."

"You seem like a nice young man. Are you going home?"

"Please don't sit next to me."

*

He knocks on the door. Joey opens the door and says, "What the fuck, JC!" He crushes JC in a hug, suffocating. It's okay. "Why -- you called yesterday, you said you'd call from the bus station."

"I took the bus, it was fine. I took another bus." JC smiles. Sits down on the couch.

"I'm gonna make you some food. Like, right now. You're so skinny. You can't live on ramen, man."

"I know." Love you, love you. JC holds out the money. "The ticket didn't cost, I made it back using the money my mom gave last month. What I had left over."

"Don't even, man. Now you're here and you think of it as seed money." In the kitchen, small kitchen, Joey opens the refrigerator. Walks back, puts something steaming in a cup in front of JC. "I won't take it back, JC, you keep it."

"Okay." Soup. Joey made him soup.

"You're so thin. I'm glad you're back. We're gonna fatten you up." Joey, Joey. He shines somehow. "You know you're staying here, right? No sneaking out to sleep on the street or something. You stay here. The couch pulls out."

"Joey." Love you.

Your Honor, I know I did something wrong because I can't tell him. I can't ever tell him. I won't ever tell him.

"Joey, I'll stay here. I will. But I think, I'm gonna go to Memphis soon. See Justin, you know, figure things out."

"Stay here as long as you want. You'll find something. You're so talented."

"Thanks so much, Joey. But, yeah, maybe just for a week or two." Love you, love you, never tell you.

THE END.

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