DISCLAIMER & NOTES: Smallville, Lex property of DC Comics and other folks. Used without permission. All made up. For entertainment only. Thanks to stuff and Katie.

BRIAN

Lex heard somewhere that all the guys in boybands are gay. So that's a plus, something to look forward to at what promises to be a stultifying and deadening charity function. Maybe he can get laid and do more than press the flesh with boring people.

Something to do with hearts, kids. And he looks for the boyband guy. Who is short, 5'7", if that. Bright goofy smile. Happy demeanor. Earnest, sweet. The guy ducks his head and laughs. Like Clark, Lex thinks, with a very gay haircut.

Except this boyband guy is the exception to the rule. Lex has never met a man who radiated so much healthy well-adjusted heterosexuality in his life. He sighs and smiles politely and decides to order his drink right away.

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